


The Idiot Collective

by blankpaperboy



Category: bts
Genre: BTS texting fic, Crack Fic, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Gay, M/M, mentions of Got7, possible angst, slight homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2019-07-14 09:39:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16037837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankpaperboy/pseuds/blankpaperboy
Summary: A chat fic centered around BTS and Suga in particular as they make a new friend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Names  
> OC- Hook Gi / Gabriel / Rantguy  
> Suga- Suga / Yoongles  
> RM- Regretman / Dad  
> Jin- Mr.WWH / Jinman/ Mom  
> Jimin- Chimchim / Angelboi  
> J-Hope- J-Hoe / Hobi  
> Jungkook- Jungshook / Kookie  
> Taehyung- V / Taetae

**Unknown1** (Suga) **<** **Unknown2** (Gabriel)

 **Unknown1** : OH MY GOOODD JOON! I HATE WORKING AT THIS STUPID CAFE IM GONNA STAB SOMEONE RN!!

 **Unknown2** : Umm, that’s not good, maybe you shouldn’t do that.

 **Unknown1** : I know, but the people here are seriously pissing me the fuck off!!

 **Unknown2** : Well, you seem like you need to vent so, tell me what happened.

 **Unknown1** : Okay! So this old lady comes in and I was in a good mood so I was trying to take her order and she was just not working with me. She refused to listen to any of my recommendations since she still hadn’t placed an order. She proceeded to yell at me saying how people like me are the devils spawn and I was thinking, “What is her problem?” when I remembered I was wearing the rainbow pride slap bracelet Jimin bought me this past weekend. And she was just being a homophobic bitch, and then proceeded to insult my outfit, piercings and mint green hair. JOON I WAS WEARING THE STAFF T-SHIRT, AN APRON, BLACK JEANS AND BLACK SNEAKERS!! Like, wtf lady?! And for work I wear black studs in my piercings!

 **Unknown2** : Wow, sounds like a lot.

 **Unknown1** : I’m not done!

 **Unknown2** : Oh ok.

 **Unknown1** : Then, after the old bat left, this girl comes in and I’m in a bad mood and she tries to flirt with me, and normally I wouldn’t mind because I’m a bombastic bi boi, but I just couldn’t. So she’s hard core flirting, like unrelenting, and she goes, “You know if you were a beverage I’d say you’re a real cute-tea!” And I look at her with my infamous bitch face and reply, “Actually, I’m a black coffee that’s been sitting for a while because I’m cold, dark and bitter.” She looked so shocked, then she paid and left.

 **Unknown2** : OH MY GOD!! That was clever as shit!! Is that it?

 **Unknown1** : Yeah, and my co-workers felt bad so they gave me a free pastry. It was worth the suffering and we made decent tip money.

 **Unknown2** : Well, that’s good. So now that you aren’t going to commit murder, I’m not “Joon” you’ve got the wrong number.  
I wanted to let you rant cause you seemed to be having a tough time and you needed someone to listen. Also I didn’t want you to commit murder.

 **Unknown1** : Really? Shit, well I had my phone reset recently and I lost a lot of my contacts and I had him type in his number earlier today, but he must’ve mistyped it or something.

 **Unknown2** : Well, if you need to rant about work then you can text me, I don’t mind and it seems interesting to hear about someone else’s day to day experience.

 **Unknown1** : Well I kinda feel like I’ve really over shared already.

 **Unknown2** : Do you want to know stuff about me?

 **Unknown1** : Um, sure?

 **Unknown2** : I’m 25, I live in Seoul, Male, a fellow bisexual, single, and work in a dance studio that helps kids in range from college to elementary.

 **Unknown1** : Wait in Seoul? What’s the studio called?

 **Unknown2** : South side Studio.

Unknown1: No way, I work at the Tilted Crane cafe like a block away. And my one friend works with you. What’s your name?

 **Unknown2** : I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.

 **Unknown1** : That’s not fair.

 **Unknown2** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Unknown1** : Fine.

* **Unknown1** **has** **named** **Unknown2** **as** **Rantguy** *

 **Rantguy** : Two can play at this game!

* **Rantguy** **has** **named** **Unknown1** **as** **Bombasticbiboi** *

 **Bombasticbiboi** : This is too long, I’m changing this only cause I need to shorten it.

* **Bombasticbiboi** **has** **changed** **their** **name** **to** **Suga** *

 **Suga** : This isn’t my real name, but it’s a nickname my friends gave to me so I’ll respond to it.

 **Rantguy** : I’m good with this.

 **Suga** : Damn it!  
I thought you’d let something slip!  
Wow, this is so unlike me.

 **Rantguy** : ?

 **Suga** : With my friends or anyone else really, I’m not the one pushing to get to know someone, it’s the other way around.

 **Rantguy** : Must be something in the coffee. Also I think I’ve seen you at the Tilted Crane before.

 **Suga** : Unfair! This is bull shit!! First I cant know your name and now you might know what I look like! You’re just a creep.

 **Rantguy** : Am not! This is all merely a coincidence.  
But I can stop talking to you if you want.

 **Suga** : No. You’re not going anywhere. Get used to me being here.  
AAANND now I must leave.

 **Rantguy** : Wow, you really stick to your word.

 **Suga** : Shut up, I have another chat that’s blowing up. I’ll be back.

 **Rantguy** : Ok bye.

 **Suga** **<** **GC: “The** **Idiot** **Collective”**  
* **Mr.WWH** **has** **changed** **Hobi’s** **name to J-** **Hoe** **and** **Joonie’s** **name** **to** **Regretman** *

 **J-Hoe** : Jin I swear it was an accident!

 **Mr.WWH** : BULLSHIT!! YOU KNEW FULL WELL WHAT YOU WERE DOING!!

 **Regretman** : Jinnie baby, we’re sorry honey. Please.

 **Mr.WWH** : I CANT BELIEVE YOU WOULD BETRAY ME LIKE THIS JOONIE!!

 **Kookie** : Jin hyung is this necessary they said they were sorry.

 **Mr.WWH** : OH YEAH WELL WHAT IF JIMIN DID THIS WITH TAE HUH?!

 **Taetae** : *GASP*!! I would never! Jimin and I are platonic soulmates, but I could never do that to my Kookie!

 **Kookie** : <3 Love you Tae.

 **Taetae** : ;)

 **Mr.** **WWH** : FLIRT SOMEWHERE ELSE CHILDREN MAMAS GOTTA FILE THE DIVORCE PAPERS!!

 **Suga** : Okay, so I’m gonna ask what happened, cause it seems like RM cheated on Jin with Hobi, but I know neither of them would do that cause they’re both fucking whipped for their bfs so what happened?

 **Mr.** **WWH** : THEY STARTED AVATAR THE LAST AIR BENDER WITHOUT ME AND I CAME HOME AND THEY WERE ON THE FOURTH EPISODE! THE FOURTH!!

 **Suga** : Oh my god.

 **Regretman** : Jin we just got into it we’re sorry.

 **Suga** : Wait Hobi why were you over at their place? Where’s Jimin?

 **Chimchim** : I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED!!

 **Kookie** : Speak of the devil.

 **J-Hoe** : If he’s the devil then I’m definitely a sinner. ;)

 **Chimchim** : ;)

 **Mr.** **WWH** : YOU KNOW FUCKIN WHAT!!

 **Taetae** : What?

 **Kookie** : Yeah, what?

 **J-Hoe** : I have been banished from the apartment.

 **Taetae** : Why?

 **J-Hoe** : THEY’RE GONNA HAVE ANGRY SERX IM OUTTIE BYE!!

 **Taetae** : Serx lol

 **J-Hoe** : SHUT UP!!

 **Kookie** : What? How do you know?

 **J-Hoe** : I was shoved out of their apartment and then I heard clattering and then Namjoon moaned “Fuck Jin.”, and then I heard more moans so I ran.

 **Taetae** : You got Sexiled.

 **Chimchim** : Baby, come to my place I got off work early!

 **Kookie** : Ha! Sexiled, nice one Taetae!

 **Taetae** : Ikr

 **J-Hoe** : On my way bb!! I need to after that experience.

 **Chimchim** : I know just the thing to take your mind off it. ;)

 **J-Hoe** : (ﾟωﾟ;) Running!!

 **Kookie** : Disgustingly whipped.

 **Taetae** : Aww, but Kookie I thought you liked the whip. :(

 **Kookie** : (ʘ言ʘ╬)

 **Suga** : Ha!

* **Suga** **has** **changed** **Kookie’s** **name** **to**  
**Jungshook***

 **Taetae** : ;)

 **Jungshook** : We don’t actually do BDSM.

 **Taetae** : Yeah we’re pretty plain but it’s enough for me.

 **Jungshok** : Aww!

* **Mr.** **WWH** **has** **changed** **their** **name** **to** **Mom** *

 **Mom** : Excuse me! What?!

 **Taetae** : Oh shit.

 **Jungshook** : We dead.

 **Mom** : IM SO PROUD!!MY BABIES FINALLY GOT TOGETHER!! Watching you two pine was exhausting. Even when you were boyfriends and weren’t physical with each other there was so much fucking tension!!

 **Taetae** : Where’s Dad?

* **Mom** **has** **changed** **Regretman’s** **name** **to** **Dad**.*

 **Mom** : Recovering.

 **Jungshook** : Jimin’s gonna blow Hobi!

 **Suga** : How do you know?

 **Jungshook** : C’mon it’s obvious since J-Hope constantly talks about how much he likes Jimin’s mouth.

 **Mom** : Point taken.

 **Taetae** : So their relationship isn’t something worth freaking out over?

 **Mom** : We were once at a party and I caught them making out in a closet and then I threw a condom at them yelling “Be safe.” and shut the door.

 **Suga** : Savage.

 **Jungshook** : Did they do it though?

 **Mom** :¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Taetae** : Two gays hiding in a closet. Classic. Also why were you carrying around condoms?

 **Mom** : I was at a party with your father why do you think. I was willing to spare one for them in the name of protection.

 **Jungshook** : Oh ok.

 **Dad** : Wow I missed a lot.

 **Jungshook** : I see you’ve recovered.

 **Dad** : Say something and you’re ass is grounded.

 **Jungshook** : Gross you have Jin, the only man for me is Taehyung.

 **Dad** : I’ll ground you from Taehyung.

 **Jungshook** : SOO, how was everyone’s day today?

 **Dad** : Smart choice. And good actually.

 **Suga** : I texted a wrong number thinking it was Namjoon and ranted to him about my day at work and he went with it.

 **J-Hoe** : Ooooo!! Is he cute?

 **Chimchim** : Hey!

 **J-Hoe** : I’m asking because I want to know if he’s good enough for our Suga, I already have you.

 **Chimchim** : Alright.

 **Mom** : Yes do tell more about this boy you met.

 **Dad** : Wait is he even gay?

 **Suga** : Bi.

 **Dad** : Okay carry on then.

 **Suga** : No name, wouldn’t give one so I call him Rantguy. And he’s my age, lives and works in Seoul at the South side Studio.

 **Chimchim** : Well there are five male instructors, seven including Hobi and I. 3 of them are around 23-25. I could snoop for you.

 **Suga** : No I’m gonna find out when I come in. I’ll figure it out.

 **Chimchim** : Are you sure about that hyung? That could take a while.

 **Suga** : You know what?! Scratch that I don’t care if you help I just gotta find out who he is.

 **Mom** : Someone has a crush!!

 **Jungshook** : BOY CRUSHIE!! BOY CRUSHIE!! SUGA HAS A BOY CRUSHIE!!

 **Suga** : No I don’t. He’s just being a smug little shit about this and I wanna beat him.

 **Chimchim** : You should add him here! He might let something slip.

 **J-Hoe** : Smart thinking boo. And Kookie, I don’t like Jimin’s mouth.  
I LOVE IT!!

 **Suga** : Don’t do or say anything stupid I’m gonna add him, and don’t scare him away.

 **Suga** **<** **Rantguy**

 **Suga** : Hey, wanna join a GC with my friends, I think you’d like them.

 **Rantguy** : Ooooo! This should be fun, haven’t been in a GC in a while. Sure.

 **Suga** : Ok. They’re all nuts though so, you’ve been warned.

* **Suga** **has** **added** **Rantguy** **to** **the “** **The** **Idiot** **Collective“**   **GC** *  
**Suga** **<** **GC**

 **Suga** : Everyone play nice.

 **Rantguy** : Hello!

 **J-Hoe** : So Im sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties.

 **Suga** :（πーπ）

 **Rantguy** : This bitch empty! YEEET!

 **J-Hoe** : (⊙ᗜ⊙)  
I like this one he can stay.

 **Rantguy** : Yay!

 **Mom** : You don’t decide that I do.

 **Dad** : What about me?

 **Mom** : We agree on what we think of them remember.

 **Dad** : Gotcha.

 **Rantguy** : Have other people tried to join this chat or something?

 **Jungshook** : You have no idea. *War flash backs*

 **Rantguy** : Alright. What I need to do to solidify my place here?

 **Mom** : Answer my questions honestly and we’ll see if you are worthy.

 **Rantguy** : Fire away.

 **Mom** : What is you’re name?

 **Rantguy** : I cant say, Suga is looking into me and I want him to work for it.

 **Mom** : Alright, any nicknames?

 **Rantguy** : I spent some time in America and I got the name Gabriel.

 **Mom** : (⊙ꇴ⊙) Perfect!

* **Mom** **has** **changed** **Rantguy’s** **name** **to** **Gabriel** *

 **Gabriel** : Sweet.

 **Suga** : THIS IS BULL SHIT! YOU’RE HERE FOR FIVE SECONDS AND GIVE A NAME!! UNBELIEVABLE!!

 **Mom** : SUGA! You don’t have outbursts like this! Behave yourself young man. I did not raise you like this.

 **Suga** : You’re not my real mom!

 **Dad** : Son do wanna get grounded?!

 **Suga** : And you’re not my real dad! I know I’m adopted.

 **Mom** : *Gasp!* JOONIE! He knows!

 **Dad** : I knew this would happen eventually.

 **Chimchim** : You guys remember when Suga used to deny being their child at all.

 **Suga** : That was before I realised it was futile. If NamJin claims you as their child, you’re their child, but I KNOW IM ADOPTED.

 **Mom** : THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR PLACE!!

 **Mom** : Now, my next question for you Gabe is...

 **Gabriel** : ?

 **Mom** : I give up. Suga told us everything he knows about you so this is kinda pointless.

 **Gabriel** : So I can stay?

 **Mom** : Yep. Welcome to the family son!

 **Dad** : Jin what did we say about bringing in more kids?

 **Mom** : But JOOOOONNNIIIEE!! Look how cute he is!! (Be cute)

 **Gabriel** : (◕ω◕)

 **Dad** : Alright, but after this one that is it. Got it?

 **Mom** : Oh I hear you loud and clear Daddy.  
;)

 **Dad** : (ﾟωﾟ) KIDS IT’S BED TIME!! RIGHT NOW GOODBYE GO!!

 **Jungshook** : But DaAaAd it’s only 3:50PM!

 **Taetae** : Plus you and mom already fucked.

 **Dad** : GOODBYE DONT DIE WHILE WE’RE GONE!!

 **Mom** : (･ω<)☆

 **Gabriel** : Wait, what?

 **J-Hoe** : Namjoon and Jin are together like me and Jimin, and Jungkook and Taehyung.

 **Gabriel** : No I get that, but like why do you guys know about them fucking?

 **J-Hoe** : Oh! Well you see, RM and I started a show without Jin and he made me leave their apartment so he could angry fuck Namjoon.

 **Gabriel** : So I see this is a very open group.

 **Chimchim** : What’s wrong? That not your style?

 **Gabriel** : No, that’s fine I just wasn’t expecting it.

 **J-Hoe** : Well Jiminie and I are gonna go catch a movie. Later losers! <3

 **Suga** : Well idk where Taekook went so now it’s just us.

 **Gabriel** : Taekook?

 **Suga** : Taehyung (Taetae) + Jungkook (Jungshook) = Taekook  
Namjoon (Dad) + Seokjin (Mom) = Namjin  
Jimin (Chimchim) + Hoseok (J-Hoe) = Ji-Hope. You’re welcome.

 **Gabriel** : OOOOOHHHH!! Ok, makes sense.  
Wanna go to our chat and play 20 questions?

 **Suga** : Sure.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helll! I just wanted to say thank you guys for reading my work because it means a lot to me. So, here’s the next chapter. Enjoy!

**Suga** **<** **Rantguy**

**Suga** : So, first things first.

* **Suga has changed Rantguy’s name to Gabriel** *

**Gabriel** : Sweet. Like you, Suga. (・ω<)

**Suga** : *Gasp* Are you, flirting?! With me?!

**Gabriel** : Is that not allowed?

**Suga** : No, it just won’t be effective because like I said earlier I’m cold, dark and bitter.

**Gabriel** : Well lucky for you I’m warm, bright and sweet.

**Suga** : Wow that was, good.

**Gabriel** : Is the mighty Suga stunned?

**Suga** : Not for long. Hit me with another pick up line, I can shoot it down in no time.

**Gabriel** : I thought we were gonna play 20 questions?

**Suga** : Later. Pick up line, GO!

**Gabriel** : *Sigh* Did you fall in a pile of sugar? Because you have a sweet ass!

**Suga** : Well I may have tripped, but my ass isn’t falling for you.

**Gabriel** : You don’t have to worry about falling, because I’ll be there to catch you.

**Suga** : You’re about to catch these hands.

**Gabriel** : Then I’ll hold them and never let go.

**Suga** : BOI WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKIN SMOOTH?! Where did you learn this?!

**Gabriel** : Thank you, but I was just doing it as we went.

**Suga** : Really?

**Gabriel** : Yeah. I like improvising, like free style writing and rapping.

**Suga** : Wait! You rap?

**Gabriel** : Nothing serious. I sing pretty much everything, and if it has a rap to it I do my best.

**Suga** : Oh my god I’ve found myself a triple threat! A dancer, a singer, and a rapper! God, if you’re pretty I’m gonna punch you.

**Gabriel** : Why?

**Suga** : Cause then that’s not fair.

**Yoongles** **<** **Jinman**

* **Yoongles** **sent 3 screenshots** *

**Yoongles** : WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!! THIS GUY IS PERFECT WHAT DO I DO?!

**Jinman** : OH MY GOD YOURE ACTUALLY HAVING A GAY PANIC OVER THIS BOY!!THIS DOESNT HAPPEN!!

**Yoongles** : YOU CANT PANIC CAUSE IM PANICKING!!! ONE OF US NEEDS TO BE RATIONAL HERE!!

**Jinman** : IM SORRY BUT YOU NEVER COME TO ME WITH BOY ISSUES SO THIS MUST BE IMPORTANT!!

**Yoongles** : OF COURSE ITS IMPORTANT!! SO NOW YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN AND HELP ME!!

**Jinman** : YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN SO I CAN HELP YOU!!

**Yoongles** : Ok. I’m good. So, what do I do?

**Jinman** : Mmmmmm  
I DONT KNOW!!

**Yoongles** : I THOUGHT YOU SAID WE WERE GONNA BE CALM!!

**Jinman** : IM SORRY!! IM JUST REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU AND A LITTLE WORRIED!!

**Yoongles** : You’re worried? About me?

**Jinman** : Of course Yoongi. I mean it’s okay to be our resident single and be looking for someone, but you never bothered and I guess I was just worried about you being alone or feeling left out, but your attitude never changed(and don’t tell me you don’t get sulky and pouty because yes you do.) and you never said anything about it. You also did show some interest in other people so I didn’t know what to think cause we never talked about it.

**Yoongles** : Wow. Well, I never actively looked for a relationship cause I wasn’t really interested, but I wouldn’t mind being in one. And that sounds really complacent but you know I’m not good with words. This guy seems interesting though. If anything I wanna be friends first. (With some subtle flirting)

**Jinman** : Oml. Alright then. I guess you don’t need my help, but I’ll be here to listen when you need it. NOW GO GET EM TIGER AND SHOW HIM WHAT A SEXY BEAST YOU CAN BE!!

**Yoongles** : Yeah right. I’ll let him come to me.

**Jinman** : Oh I’m sure he’ll cum to you alright. ;)

**Yoongles** : Stop.

**Jinman** : Sorry! I don’t know how.

**Suga < Gabriel**

**Gabriel** : Well life isn’t fair, and if I’m thinking of what I think you look like from that one time I might’ve seen you at the cafe, then you’re much more attractive then me.

**Suga** : Well. That settles that.

**Gabriel** : What?

**Suga** : If you say the person you saw was attractive then it was most likely not me. I’m not exactly a looker.

**Gabriel** : Well then, I’ll have to look again next time I come in.

**Suga** : Have fun guessing my shift hours!

**Gabriel** : Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out! ;)

**Hook Gi < Angelboi**

**Hook** **Gi** : Jimin my good man, I need a favor.

**Angelboi** : What can I do for you?

**Hook** **Gi** : I was wondering if we could talk about the performance that’s coming up after practice tomorrow. If you’re free of course.

**Angelboi** : Of course! I would love to help, I can rope Hobi into it to because we need to keep his anxieties about it in check.

**Hook** **Gi** : Alright, when and where?

**Angelboi** : Tilted Crane cafe, arooouundd...  
Hang on.

**Hook** **Gi** : Take your time.

**Chimchim < Yoongi**

**Chimchim** : Yo hyung when does your shift end?

**Yoongi** : *Grabs knife* Why do want to know all of the sudden? Are you even Park Jimin?

**Chimchim** : Yoongi wtf? Yes it’s me, I was gonna ask if you want a ride home since you walk to work when it’s nice out and I have a thing scheduled tomorrow with a friend to talk about dance and stuff. I was gonna offer to take you home after like a good dongsaeng, but you’re freaking out and pointing knives at people.

**Yoongi** : I’m sorry, it’s just that Gabe said he was going to find out what hours I work to confirm whether he’s seen me or not at the cafe and I guess I got a bit jumpy.

**Chimchim** : No problem, gtg though. Text me when your shift ends tomorrow.

**Yoongi** : 4:00

**Chimchim** : Ok I’ll pick you up then. Bye.

**Yoongi** : Bye.

**Angleboi < Hook Gi**

**Angelboi** : IT’S YOU!!!

**Hook** **Gi** : ?

**Angelboi** : Gabriel! I should’ve known, you sly dog! Knowing I’d suggest the Tilted Crane! What kind of genius have you been hiding from me?!

**Hook** **Gi** : Was I that obvious?

**Angelboi** : In all fairness no, but I went to ask Suga what time he gets off work so I could give him a ride home after our meeting and he said that you were looking into what hours he worked. So did you really want to meet up? Or was it all a ruse?

**Hook** **Gi** : Of course I do! I was just gonna kill two birds with one stone and stalk Suga, and meet up with you to talk about dance.

**Angelboi** : A multitasker! Suga really needs you.

**Hook** **Gi** : You can’t tell him you know. If you try I’ll blackmail you.

**Angelboi** : Well I wasn’t going to but now my ass is saved.

**Hook** **Gi** : How is me blackmailing you saving you?

**Angelboi** : Now I have a good reason as to why I wouldn’t tell Suga I know who you are, I can say you had dirt on me and had to protect myself. :)

**Hook** **Gi** : Okay then, so I’ll be seeing you and Hobi tomorrow at...?

**Angelboi** : 3:00 and we’ll hang for an hour.

**Hook** **Gi** : Sounds great! See you then.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that the next few chapters will be less texting more plot. I hope you enjoy the story line regardless!

The next day Suga was antsy all day. He wasn’t sure when Gabriel would come in, or if he’d come at all, he never specified a day. Jin came by per usual and noticed the difference. “You look absolutely stunning today Yoongi.” Yoongi narrowed his eyes at Jin.

“Don’t make slighted comments at me, some people may not notice, but I do so don’t test me today.”  
“What has you so cranky?” Suga looks at Jin and then starts to tell him what’s been eating him alive all day.  
“Gabe said he’d figure out what hours I work and come see if I’m who he thinks I am. And I’ve been nervous all day and it’s really wearing me out.” Jin nods in understanding.

“Well, it’s 3:00. You have an hour until you can leave and then go harass Gabriel about actually meeting up so this anxiety doesn’t make you sick.” Jin says.

“That won’t happen.” Yoongi says dismissively.

“It can happen and I don’t want it to happen you over some boy. Now relax, your shift is almost over, I’ll see you later. Bye.”

“Ok. Bye.” You go says as he watches Jin leave.

Yoongi watches as more people enter and a few people make a small que waiting to order. After a few people a rather good looking guy is up to order and Yoongi can’t help but stare. “Hi can I get a moca frappe chino, a caramel macchiato and a blueberry blast tea?” He asks. That’s weird, the last two orders are what Jimin and Hobi always get.

“Can I get a name for those?” He asks. “Uh, yeah. All of them under Park Jimin.” This has Yoongi freeze. “How do you know Park Jimin?” Yoongi asks. “How do you know Park Jimin?” The stranger asks back. “I’m one of his friends.” Yoongi states. The stranger smiles. “Well I’m one of his friends as well and he sent me his and Hobi’s drink orders so we can get down to business when he gets here.”

That sounds kind of sketchy. “Business? What business?” He asks. “Dance stuff, organizing an upcoming performance.” Oh. That made sense, Hobi has been a little antsy lately about an upcoming performance so they must be finalizing plans now like Jimin said. “Alright, but I’ve got my eye on you.” Suga says as he lets the guy move on.

Later on Jimin comes in with Hoseok and they sit with hot mystery guy. He watches as they laugh and talk and Yoongi occasionally helps customers and then goes back to watching them. Suddenly he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to see his coworker Jinyoung, who is dating Jackson who is friends with Namjoon. “Hey, you’re shift‘s over now you can go home or go get that guys number already.” “What?” Yoongi asks.

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. “You’ve been staring at him for the past hour. Just go talk to him already, I think I’ve seen him in here before and maybe around campus.” All of Yoongi’s friends go to the same college. Him, RM and Hoseok are going for music production, Jin and Jimin are theatre majors and Tae and Jungkook are art majors.

Yoongi goes back to the kitchen and puts away his apron and goes to get his leather jacket. As he walks up to the table, their attention is focused on him. “Ahh! Suga, I’d like you to meet Hook Gi, he’s a great dancer for our troop through South Side.” Jimin introduces. “Are you kidding Jiminie he’s a triple threat, sing, dancer, and rapper, like me.” J-Hope adds.

“Don’t forget the flips, didn’t you take gymnastics or something?” Jimin asks. Gi nods. “I did, for a while when I was younger. I can do quite a few tricks.” He says shrugging. “A real shining star this one, he draws, plays guitar, piano, drums and he works out besides doing dance, work and classes.” Hoseok continues to boast.

“Gi, Suga plays piano, you should talk about that.” Jimin says. “Jimin we gotta go, Mrs. Lin just texted me and she said she heard something coming from the apartment and apparently Micky got into the garbage again.” J-Hope says. Jimin looks surprised. “Oh, well lets go. Sorry guys but we gotta dash. See ya.” Jimin says as him and Hoseok walk away.

Then there was awkward silence. Gi gestures to the booth. “You wanna sit down?” So Yoongi sits and then he finds what he wants to say. “Look, I know they’re trying to set us up, and you seem nice but you’re way out of my league and I’m interested in someone else right now so I’m not going to pursue this.” Gi smirks “Are you sure?” He says quirking an eyebrow. What does he mean? “Of course I’m sure.”

He takes out his phone and types a quick message and then Suga’s phone vibrates. He takes it out and see a message from Gabriel.

**Suga < Gabriel**

**Gabriel** : Are you sure you’re not interested in me?- Gi

Suga looks up. “It’s you?” He nods. “Yeah.” “And they knew?” He shakes his head. “No. I asked Jimin to hang out and I knew he’d come here and he adjusted our times to be able to take you home. So he figured it out and I blackmailed him into not telling you.”

Suga smirks. “Ruthless. So you can sing, rap, dance, do flips, draw, play three instruments and you’re pretty? I’m definitely gonna have to hit you.” He says smiling. “And I can speak fluent English and moderate Spanish.” Suga is stunned. “What the actual fuck? Where did you come from? Why are you so perfect?” This makes Gi laugh. “I’m far from perfect. I’m just... skilled I guess.”

“You guess? Oh my god and you’re humble too!! God now I really have to hit you.” Gi nods. “Well it’s perfectly fine to have multiple talents, but as soon as you start bragging you become a douche.” Suga nods. “Understandable.” After that there’s an awkward silence. “Soo, what do we do now?” Suga asks. Gi is quiet before he replies. “I don’t really know, I mean. Do you wanna be friends?” He asks shyly. “I thought we were already friends, but sure.” Suga says. “Well, I wasn’t sure so now we’ve solidified it.” Gi replies.

“And since they’ve abandoned you, I can take you home. If you want of course.” Gi offers. Suga smirks. “What if I want to go back to your place and hang out? It is only 4 o’clock.” Gi stares for a second before replying. “Okay, I don’t mind but the place may be a little messy so I’m warning you now.” He says. Suga shrugs. “Can’t be worse than the Taekook apartment.” They walk out into the parking lot together. “They live together?”

“Yeah, and so do Namjin, but J-Hope and Jimin aren’t yet because they wanted their own space, but J-Hope is gonna ask him to move in with him soon.” “How do you know?” Gi asks. “He told me that he was gonna ask sometime this month. And Jimin is of course gonna say yes. They practically live together anyway.” “True.” Gi agrees.

They get to Gi’s car and he unlocks it. A black Toyota. “Nice car.” Yoongi comments. “Very clean.” Which is true. Gi’s car hardly had dirt on it and the inside still looked new. “Oh this old thing, I’ve had for maybe 3-4 years. Cleaned it out a month ago. But thank you.” Yoongi looks at him in shock. “There’s no way. You had to of just cleaned this thing.” Gi shakes his head. “Nope, I cleaned it out a month ago after I took a trip with my family. That’s the only time my car’s been really messy.”

“How do you keep it like this?” Yoongi asks as Gi starts the engine. “I take out garbage before I leave the car. Simple.” Yoongi finally decided he can’t handle this anymore and he punches Gi in the arm. “Owww! What the hell Suga I’m trying to drive! You couldn’t have waited?” He shakes his head. “Nope, you’re being too good right now and it was too much so it had to be done.” Gi laughs. “So you resort to punching me like a school yard bully?”

Suga is quiet so Gi speaks up again afraid that he upset him. “I have a solution. If you feel like punching me again just hold this.” He says digging in his pants pocket and holding his closed hand above Suga’s. Yoongi is surprised to be getting a gift of some kind from Gi so he holds out his hand in anticipation. Gi opens his hand and grasps Suga’s and doesn’t let go. Oh. My. God. That smooth motherfucker. He just got Yoongi to fucking hold his hand.

He looks up at Gi to see he’s smiling. Which makes Yoongi smile as well. “Dick.” He says squeezing Gabe’s hand. He hums. “Mmmm, I’ll give it to you later.” This has Yoongi surprised. “I’m teasing.” He says. Damn. Yoongi can’t catch a break with this guy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one is a little short but regardless I hope you enjoy!

“So Suga, what do you wanna do?” Gi asked as they step into the apartment.  
It was nicely furnished and had a good view of the skyline and the road three stories bellow. It was mostly a one room apartment except for the bathroom and bedroom. “Play video games? If that’s cool with you.” Yoongi suggested. “Sure.” Gi replied. He started up the console and Yoongi took his time staring at dat ass.

Gi stood up straight up again and handed a controller to Yoongi. “What do you wanna play?” He asks. Yoongi stares up at him. “Umm something fun?” Gi laughs. “Okay. I think I’ve got something that’ll suit your taste.” Gi takes out a case from the TV stand and inserts the disc into the console. He sits down next to Suga and waits as everything loads. “Friday the 13th?” Yoongi questions. Gi shrugs. “I figured you might enjoy it. I mean the first time I talked to you, you said you wanted to commit murder.” Yoongi shrugged. “You got me there.”

Gi stops and stares at Yoongi. “Did you just... quote a meme?” Yoongi frowns. “Of course I did, what do you take me for?” He asks. “A grandpa.” Gi replies. “I’m going to kill you slowly.” “See that’s why I picked this game. So, we can play online with other people or it could be just us, but we can see each other’s screens, or we can have an AI be the killer. It’s up to you.” Yoongi nods. “How about we let the AI do the killing for now.” Gi nods. “Okay. Let’s get started.”

After staring the game they both do pretty well, Yoongi dies first and says it’s because Gi has more experience. “That’s bullshit! This game is randomly generated I don’t know where anything is! I could die in the next five minutes.” This gives Yoongi an idea and he tackles Gi to the floor and starts to tickle him mercilessly. “Ahahahahahahaha!!! S-sugaaa!! Please! Stooop! I can’t breathe!” Yoongi lets up and then he is on the floor with Gi above him attempting to tickle him and failing.

“What kind of demon are you?” Gi asks. Yoongi rolls his eyes. “I’m not a demon, my sides just aren’t ticklish, and no I will not tell you where I am ticklish so deal with it.” Gi nods. “Fair enough, but you can’t tell everyone I’m ticklish and you can’t use it against me all the time or else I’ll ban you from touching me.” Yoongi didn’t know why that sounded like such a terrible thing. He was never really touchy in the first place so why should it matter to him? But he wants to touch Gi, even in the smallest ways. “Understood.” He says.

Gi finally looks over to the TV and pouts. **HIS! POUT! IS! SO! CUTE!** “You made me die.” He complains still hovering over Yoongi. “Oops?” He says it like a question. “Rude. Do you want me to feed you? It’s like 5:30.” Gi says as he stands up. Yoongi gets up too and realizes how long he’s been here for. “No, I should probably go back to my dorm.” “Oh, I can drive you back. Do you have a roommate?” Gi asks almost out of nowhere. “No, I don’t. I like my privacy and I used to live with Namjoon for a long time, and then he and Jin started dating and I moved out so he could move in.” He says blandly. “Well, I mean you could- never mind.” Gi says. “No. Tell me, what were you going to say?” Suga asks.

“I was saying that if you want, you can come hang out here. I don’t know about you but I get kind of lonely here sometimes since I live alone too, but we just met face to face today and I didn’t know if it was weird to say that or not.” Gi finishes. “I’d love to come back.” Suga says. Gi smiles in relief. “You’re welcome any time. And I mean that.” He says as he shuts the console off. “Are you sure you don’t want me to get you something to eat before I drive you home?” Yoongi smiles. “We’re going through a drive through.” Gi sighs. “One of these days Suga I will make you a home cooked meal and then you’ll never want to leave!” Suga smiles and realizes something. “Yoongi.” He says. “What?” Gi questions. “My name is Min Yoongi. I just realized that you still didn’t know my name. I guess I won.” He says.

Gi smiles. “Min Yoongi. That suits you. And I guess you did.” He says as he opens the door to his apartment and holds his hand out for Yoongi to take. Yoongi doesn’t think twice before fitting his hand with Gi’s and then they walk out together. Later after they went through an unhealthy drive through at Yoongi’s request Gi drops him off at his dorm. “I’ll see you later Yoongi. And don’t be a stranger.” “I won’t.” He says in reply as he walks into his building.

**Yoongles < Jinman**

**Yoongles** : What do I do he’s perfect?

**Jinman** : Who?

**Yoongles** : Don’t play dumb!  
Gabriel! I met him today and his name is Hook Gi. He’s a dancer, singer, raper, gymnast, artist, and can play, drums, piano and guitar. And he’s hot, and kind and funny and I’m not gonna survive this ‘friendship’

**Jinman** : Wow. That’s a lot to take in.

**Yoongles** : And he’s muscular but not excessively and clean and he wants to spend time with me. We hung out at his place(nothing sexual) and when he brought me back to my dorm he told me to keep in touch and that I could come over whenever.

**Jinman** : Well good for you. You’re making progress. As for your obvious crush, I say that you should get to know him better and then if you get the feeling he’s hitting on you then flirt back.

**Yoongles** : Wow. Actual advice. You’re serious.

**Jinman** : Aren’t you serious?

**Yoongles** : Yes. I’m being serious about my feelings.

**Jinman** : Well I’m glad we can be serious adults together.

**Yoongles** : Are you mad at me?

**Jinman** : No?

**Yoongles** : It just seemed like it cause normally you’d tease me a little and you went straight to business. Everything okay?

**Jinman** : Yes I’m good Yoongi, I just wanted to help. I can be serious you know.

**Yoongles** : I know. Sorry hyung.

**Jinman** : It’s alright. But this is hilarious I can’t wait to tell Joonie about this!

**Yoongles** : There it is.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting late but I’m here now and it looks like things are getting interesting. I hope you enjoy! Also time skip because I’m lazy.

After three months the group has gotten closer and have all been around Gi for far too long. The one to spend the most time with him is Yoongi. They have all become friends with him over one thing or another. Jin has claimed him as his official sew chef and won’t hear another word on the matter, he is Suga’s permanent cuddle buddy and if it’s anyone else he’ll complain like there’s no tomorrow. Namjoon and Gi philosophize together, sober and drunk. Gi is also not afraid to keep the maknaes in line when both Jin and Namjoon are absent. Yoongi was never the authoritative type. Plus he gets to watch Gi be a little bossy which he thinks is kinda hot. 

Hoseok and Jimin obviously claim him as their dancing buddy, and their star pupil since they both teach him as much as they can. From Hobi’s pop and lock to Jimin’s interpretative dance. Tae has found another hidden talent of Gi’s. Acting, and he’s good at it. Gi and V will just spout lines of Kdramas or Shakespeare at each other and they can keep it together mostly. Not only is he good at being on stage, but doing stage makeup. Like how many talents does one person possess?! A million apparently. Jungkook likes discussing art stuff with Gi, whether it be techniques or artists. They also do photography stuff together and have done photo shoots of one another. And Yoongi has to say that Jungkook really knows how to capture beauty well. 

Yoongi now practically lives at Gi’s and in his clothes. The first time Yoongi felt bad and didn’t come over for a few days, and then Gi invited him and what was he gonna do? Say no? So he stayed the night again. He now has a drawer, a spare tooth brush, a shelf for books, and room in the fridge. They even share Gi’s bed. At first it had been awkward and Yoongi almost didn’t sleep but then Gi rolled over and cuddled him to his chest. He apologized for it later, but it then became a common thing and Yoongi found himself enjoying being in Gi’s arms.

Things got interesting one morning after Yoongi stayed over. As Yoongi was waking up to the natural late morning light coming from the window in Gi’s room. He slowly opened his eyes feeling really relaxed, warm and safe. Suga remembered the evening before, Gi suggested that he stay the night. Friday the 13th has become their game and they were playing online and it had gotten late, so Gi asked if he was staying. It had been a Friday night which is when he normally stays over so of course his answer was yes. Yoongi’s favourite part about staying over is going to bed. Not just because he loves sleep, but because of how intimate it feels to have Gi wrap his arms around him.

Which brings him back to the present, laying in Gi’s warm embrace. Yoongi shifts a little so he can grab his phone and check the time. 10:30 AM it reads. Yoongi groans. He promised Namjin he’d be over to their place for breakfast around 11. He starts to get up, but feels Gi’s arms hold him tighter. “Noooooo.” He whines. “Gi, I have places to be today. You had me all last night.” Gi let go and he hears him mumble something. “What was that?” He asks. “Nothing. Nothing.” Gi says. Yoongi hums as he makes his way to the bathroom through the door connected to the bedroom.

As he starts to get undressed he hears a phone ring and then scrambling and Gi speak in a bright voice. “Hello Grandma how are you?” There’s silence while Gi listens to her talk before he speaks again. “Do I have to?” “You know she’s going to try to convert me.” “Why didn’t my mom call?” “Ah okay. Well tell her I say hello.” There’s more silence before he speaks again. “I don’t know. I don’t want to ask that of one of them.” Yoongi decides to turn the shower on. “Yes I have company over Grandma.” “No not that kind of company,” then in a lower voice which Yoongi almost didn’t catch he said, “I wish.” The conversation continues. “No I don’t think I could ask that of him. I think I’ll just have to deal. Well thanks for the heads up, yes I’ll be coming. I love you too Grandma. Bye.” Yoongi gets in the shower and washes quickly.

Later when he gets out Gi is finishing off an egg and toast and seems happier. “So where do you have to run off to?” He asks. “I’ve gotta go to the Namjin apartment for breakfast with the parents.” Gi doesn’t smile at this which makes Yoongi worry. “Do you have a ride?” He asks changing topics. “No. But I can take the bus if you’re busy.” “No, I can take you. It’s no trouble.” He says as he grabs his keys. “You’re going like that? I’m sure if you got dressed they would let you stay.” 

“I don’t want to impose, it’s your breakfast with them. I can wait for them to invite me on their own accord.” Yoongi would argue but after that phone call he kind of wants to talk it over with Namjoon and Jin. “Alright. But I will make sure to get you invited, a handwritten invitation in an envelope with your name on it.” This gets Gi to smile. “Wouldn’t that take too long? Going through the postal service?” He asks. “Who said anything about postal service? It’ll be hand delivered by yours truly, much faster than any delivery service.” He says as he opens the passenger door.

“I can’t wait.” Gi says and starts the engine. The drive in comfortable silence with hands twined together. Gi pulls up to the apartment building that Jin and Namjoon live in and Yoongi turns and looks at him. “Have fun and be careful not to eat too much.” Yoongi rolls his eyes as he smirks. “I won’t.” The car goes quiet and there’s a bit of tension in the air and Yoongi isn’t sure he’s ready for it so he breaks the moment by squeezing Gabriel’s hand and getting out of the car. “Pick me up around 1 will you?” He asks. “You’re coming back to my place?” “I was hoping to. Is that okay?” Gi smiles. “Of course it is. I’ll pick you up at 1.” Yoongi steps back and he makes his way up to Namjin’s apartment.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late. I was writing some things for my other doc and almost forgot to post this.

“So you’re telling me that he had a conversation with his Grandma, didn’t tell you about it and you think this might be because he likes you?” Jin asks. “Yes.” Yoongi replies. “Then what the hell are you waiting for? Tell him how you feel!!” Jin says. Namjoon nods. “I agree. It sounds like he’s into you and would like to ask you to come to a family function as his boyfriend.” Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Okay but-“ “But nothing! Yoongi, you’ve been practically living with him for the past three months since you met him. How many other people have you gotten this close to in three months?” Jin asks.

Yoongi shrinks. “No one.” “Exactly! He’s something different for you and I swear every time he looks at you he looks like he found his whole world. Not to mention the tension. You even said you guys had a charged moment in the car when he dropped you off.” “Actually, I said awkward.” Yoongi corrects. Jin waves him off. “Same difference. So, are you gonna tell him? If you don’t you might miss your chance.” Yoongi thinks for a little while. “I’d like to think it over.” Jin sighs. “Just, do it when you’re ready but, he’s not gonna wait forever Yoongs.” Namjoon gets up and takes the dishes to the sink and begins washing them. Yoongi’s phone goes off.

**Yoongi < Gi**

**Gi** : Hey I’m here to pick you up. I’m outside.

 **Yoongi** : Ok. I’ll be out in a minute.

 

Yoongi almost didn’t realize it was 1:00 already. They had spent most of it eating and gossiping and then Jin made him spill the tea at the end of their brunch. “He’s waiting for me outside.” Yoongi says. He stands up and starts to leave, but a hand touches his shoulder. “Hey,” Jin starts. “I didn’t mean to sound angry or pushy back there. I’m just worried for you. I’m legitimately trying to help you. I love you Yoongi and as your hyung it is my duty to protect you. Okay?” Jin asks. Yoongi nods. “Okay.” “Come here.” Jin pulls him into a hug which he happily accepts. They separate after a few minutes and a voice floats in from the kitchen. “Did you guys make up?” Jin laughs. “Yes Joonie everything’s fine.” Jin pats Yoongi’s shoulder. “Now go get yourself a man.” Jin says proudly. “Ya ya I’ll try.” Yoongi says walking away with a smirk.

As Suga walks out he sees Gi’s car directly in front of the building. He hops in the passenger seat and is greeted by a smiley Gi. “So how was brunch?” “Good. What about you? You seem to be in a better mood.” Gi starts the car and pulls out onto the street. “Well, I’ve done some thinking and I was wondering if you would be willing to go with me to my aunts birthday party. However she likes to try to convert the gays so that’s a drawback.” So that’s what this was about. “Of course I’ll-“ “Wait! Before you agree to anything, I wanna tell you why I’m really asking you. My family has agreed that she would be less likely to try convert me if I came with a significant other.” Oh. Shit.

Yoongi doesn’t know what to think. “Which gave me another reason to work up the courage I needed to ask you out. I know this sounds odd, asking you to be my boyfriend now, but I can promise you that I’m asking because over the past three months I’ve fallen in love with you. How you look in the morning, how happy you get at the smallest things, like me picking up mini blueberry muffins or beating me at a video game. I love how dedicated you are to working on college classes. When you come over to work and get it done so easily because you’re passionate about your major. Then there’s the fact that you like me or at least you haven’t left yet and I feel happier when I’m with you. I love being with you and I’m hoping that you feel the same way. And it’s completely understandable if you don’t.”

Yoongi doesn’t know what to say. He’s not very good with words like that, but he knows what he likes about Gi and he knows that he likes being with him. So that should be enough to say. Something Yoongi realizes is that Gi and him weren’t holding hands like they normally would. He had both hands gripped tightly to the steering wheel. So Yoongi held out his hand. Gi looked at him for a minute before realizing what Yoongi wanted. He slowly gave him his hand.

“Honestly I could punch you right now, because you’re being too perfect. Of course I like you. I love coming to your place because it feels like home, I like sleeping next to you and feeling you hold me. I like playing games with you and being domestic. I like just even being around you. I know I’ve told you before that I don’t normally warm up to people easily, and it’s mostly true. You are the only exception. Gi I would love to be your boyfriend, because I think I might be in love with you too.” Yoongi says and squeezes Gi’s hand, and he squeezes right back.

“So when would you be taking me to meet the family?” Suga asks. “The party is next Saturday, so we’d leave next Friday night and comeback sometime on Sunday. Is that okay?” He asks quickly glancing at Yoongi. “Sounds perfect.” They finally pull up to Gi’s apartment. They both walk inside and kind of awkwardly sit on the couch. “So, is there anything in particular you wanna do?” Gi asked. Yoongi’s eyes drifted down to his lips then back up. “Actually yes, there is.” He says as he pulls Gi in close, lips an inch apart. “I’ve been dying to kiss you. Can I?” He asks. “Fuck, yes.”

Gi pulls Yoongi in all the way and their lips meet. At first it’s soft and gentle exploration. Gi laid back on the couch with Yoongi on top of him. Yoongi decided to turn things up a notch and press their lips together harder and maybe slip some tongue in there and let his hands roam wherever. As things were getting heated Yoongi and Gi’s phones dinged. And that was fine, the messages could wait. And then they continued going off effectively killing the mood. “Ugh, What the hell is happening?” “Let’s find out.” They both pulled out their phones to check the group chat while they cuddled together.

**Suga < GC: “The Idiot Collective”**

**Taetae** : My dog and my boyfriend are gone!! Who took them?! Who kidnapped the two loves of my life?!

 **Kookie** : Tae I told you I was taking Yeontan for a walk. Did you not hear me?

 **Taetae** : Well I was playing Overwatch so, can you blame me?

 **Mom** : Yes

 **Taetae** : ಠ╭╮ಠ

 **Hobi** : Lol

 **Chimchim** : Lol

 **Taetae** : (ʘ言ʘ╬)  
Chimmy!! Not you too! My platonic soulmate has betrayed me!! What will I do now?

 **Chimchim** : Suffer

 **Dad** : Damn. That was ruthless Jimin.

 **Chimchim** : Yup

 **Kookie** : Babe I’ll be home soon in like 20 minutes.

 **Taetae** : Baby come back!

 **Mom** : You can blame it all on me!

 **Dad** :You can blame it all on me.

 **Hobi** : Wow. The synchronization is real.

 **Mom** : Joonie Oh my god!! That’s so cute!

 **Suga** : Seriously? My make out session got interrupted for this?

 **Hobi** : ( ﾟωﾟ) Your what now?

 **Mom** : ( ﾟωﾟ)

 **Dad** : ( ﾟωﾟ)

 **Chimchim** : ( ﾟωﾟ)

 **Taetae** : ( ﾟωﾟ)

 **Kookie** : ( ﾟωﾟ)

 **Gabriel** : ( ﾟωﾟ)

 **Mom** : Wait!!  
Gi, aren’t you the one he was making out with?!

 **Gabriel** : Oh no we were making out. I just like to feel included.

 **Mom** : Ok good.  
Wait!  
Are you two a thing now?

 **Gabriel** : Yes.

 **Mom** : FINALLY!!  
Don’t hurt each other. Like physically or emotionally. Unless given consent.

 **Dad** : Solid advice.

 **Mom** : I know right.  
So what have y’all done?  
Did you use protection?

 **Suga** : No because like I said we made out, which was the only thing we did and we’re going to do because we have self control.

 **Gabriel** : True

 **Kookie** : Damn Yoongi, you got yourself one of those freaks.

 **Suga** : What?

 **Kookie** : You know, a wait until marriage kinda freak.

 **Taetae** : Damn. R.I.P. Augst D

 **Gabriel** : Oh don’t worry, I’m down for the Augst D and that tongue technology.

 **Taetae** : Lol gross

 **Suga** : Who told him?

 **Gabriel** : Hold fast men! Snitches get stitches!

Yoongi tossed his phone to the side and tackled Gi to the floor and took his phone and held him down. “Who told you about my solo rapping?” Gi squirmed in Yoongi’s hold. “I’ll never tell.” “Boyfriends shouldn’t keep secrets.” Gi laughs. “Ha! Says you.” Yoongi just smiles. “I have my ways of making you talk. I can make you beg and scream until I get what I want.” Yoongi says lowly in Gi’s ear. Gi stills in Yoongi’s hold and gets a dark look in his eye. Then Yoongi’s hands fly to Gi’s sides and being to tickle him mercilessly. “AHAHAHAH! Y-yooongi noooAHHAHAHAH! AH! PLEASE! STOP!” Yoongi smiles. “Not until you tell me who told you about my solo rap stuff.” “AHAHAHAHAHA AH AH the R-Rap L-line AHAHAHAHAHA!!” Yoongi stops tickling Gi and he relaxes and gasps for breath.

“Thank you baby.” He says as he kisses Gi’s forehead. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have murders to plan.” Yoongi gets back on the couch to his phone and makes a new chat.

* **Yoongi has created a new chat. Yoongi has added Namjoon and Hoseok. Yoongi has named the chat: Death** *  
**Yoongi < GC: “Death”**

 **Yoongi** : So gentlemen. Who would like to tell me what I want to know? :)

 **Namjoon** : That smile is menacing

 **Hoseok** : I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me.

 **Yoongi** : You’re not as bad of a bitch as you think you are. I know it was both of you. Otherwise I would have been given a singular name.

 **Namjoon** : You can’t prove anything.

 **Hoseok** : Yeah.

 **Yoongi** : I can’t believe you two won’t confess. I had to torture my own boyfriend to get information.

 **Hoseok** : Kinky

 **Yoongi** : No. I tickled him.

 **Hoseok** : Kinkier

 **Yoongi** : Stop

 **Hoseok** : MAKE ME.

* **Yoongi has removed Hoseok from GC: “Death”** ha.*

 **Yoongi** : You wanna fess up?

 **Namjoon** : He said snitches get stitches and he snitched.

 **Yoongi** : Yeah Well now he’s in stitches, so talk or you will be too.

 **Namjoon** : You do realize you’re overreacting right? He thinks it’s cool, hot even. All of the temperatures.

 **Yoongi** : You’re lying.

 **Namjoon** : Dude. For real. I showed him that video of you’re part in Cypher part 2 when your hair was blonde, and you wore a snap back. After that he sat down and said you took his breath away and that you’re hella attractive while rapping. He wanted to know if you had any little secrets or hobbies before that so I showed him that video and said you dabbled in rapping and that you would tell him more if he asked. Hoseok showed him all your Agust D work.

 **Yoongi** : Oh. Ok. You’re free to go.

* **Yoongi had deleted GC: “Death”** *

Yoongi looked down at Gi who’s head was in his lap after they moved to the couch once the tickle torture had ended. “So, are you done murdering your friends?” Gi asks. “I haven’t murdered them, yet.” Yoongi says. “You know you look hot when you rap right? I just have one question. Why didn’t you tell me?” Yoongi sighs. “My parents weren’t always supportive of it, but they understand that making music is what I want to do and that I’m good at it so I stand a fighting chance.” Gi nods.

“I knew Hobi and RM rapped, but they never once mentioned you until I asked.” Yoongi nods. “They’re good friends like that.” “Mhm” Gi mumbles. “Are you going to sleep right now?” Yoongi asks. “Yep,it’s nap time. Lay with me.” Yoongi agrees and settles in Gi’s embrace for a cozy nap.

Meanwhile in the group chat.

**Mom < GC: “The Idiot Collective”**

**Mom** : Is everybody still here? Were there any casualties. Roll call! **@Suga** , **@Gabriel** , **@Hobi** , **@Dad** , **@Chimchim** , **@Taetae** , **@Kookie**.

 **Hobi** : Here

 **Dad** : Here

 **Taetae** : Here

 **Kookie** : Here

 **Chimchim** : Alive and well

 **Hobi** : Okay so only Yoongi and Gi are missing. Probably fucking.

 **Taetae** : No, obviously Yoongi’s givin him da suck and he’s gonna send Gi to Hong Kong with his tongue technology. Then he’ll give him the Agust D. ;)

**(A FEW HOURS LATER)**

**Suga** : Tae :) I have a chat I want you to join, you nasty.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this is late. I’ve got loaded with a lot of homework recently so I will update when I can instead of everyday so I can enjoy writing and you guys can enjoy reading good content.

**Jinman < Yoongles**

**Jinman** : Did y’all fuck?

 **Yoongles** : No.

 **Jinman** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Yoongles** : No.

 **Jinman** : ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°) I don’t believe.

 **Yoongles** : But we didn’t?

 **Jinman** : Damn. Well it’ll happen another day. Min Yoongi, still a virgin.

 **Yoongles** : You know damn well I’m no virgin.

 **Jinman** : True.

 **Yoongles** : It’ll happen when it happens.

 **Jinman** : Not even gonna make it special?

 **Yoongles** : I don’t know.

 **Jinman** : Have you thought about having sex with Gi?

 **Yoongles** : I’m muting you.

Yoongi put his phone down and muted it. The thing is that Yoongi had thought about having sex with Gi. A lot. More than he had in his other relationships, and this one had barely begun. Would Gi want to have sex this early into dating? Would he do other things? Could he even ask Gi to do something dirty to him? He didn’t want Gi to think that’s all he wanted. He looked at Gi who was laying beside him still curled around him.

Yoongi flipped over so he was facing Gi. After thinking about his and Gi’s possible sexual antics, Yoongi had given himself a boner. Should he go take care of himself or just lay here? Yoongi tries to get up, but Gi holds him tighter which pushes his front closer to him. Yoongi can feel his dick poking Gi’s hip and he tries not to move. After a little while Yoongi gives up, he can feel himself throbbing in his jeans and he needs something to relive his pain. Yoongi lifts his leg so he can bring one of Gi’s between his thighs.

Yoongi carefully starts rocking his hips and lets out a sigh of pleasure. Going slow is too torturous so Suga starts to pick up a rhythm and he’s breathing gets quicker. He lets out little grunts and groans and can feel Gi getting hard against his leg. Yoongi’s pace speeds up more trying harder to get what he needs. He continues to hump against Gi’s thigh unaware of flickering eyelids. Suddenly Yoongi is being sat up in Gi’s lap and his eyes are open, but glassy.

“What do we have here hmm?” Gi asks in a sultry tone. “I- I,” Yoongi stutters. “Come on baby, you need to tell me what you want so I can give it to you. Do you want this?” He asks as he raises his thigh against Yoongi’s erection. Yoongi gasps and nods. Gi clicks his tongue. “I want words baby, is this what you want?” He asks moving his thigh up and down. Yoongi groans and grabs his shoulders. “Ye-es, yes I want to ride your thigh.” Gi sits up and pulls Yoongi into his lap more. “Then it’s all yours, but you are all mine.”

Yoongi continues to move his hips against Gi’s thigh and Gi moves his thigh in tandem to Yoongi’s rutting. Gi leans forward and pecks Yoongi’s neck and proceeds to leave open mouth kisses. Occasionally sucking and nibbling on certain areas. Yoongi lets out loud moans that get more frequent. “Doing so well baby. Are you close? You gonna cum just from riding my thigh?” He says moving his thigh and hips against Yoongi. Yoongi knows he’s close and he’s not going to last much longer. “More.” He says. Gi almost didn’t catch it but he slides his hands under Yoongi’s shirt and strokes his sides and back. He then grips Yoongi’s hips and pushes him down on his thigh roughly, a few more jerks of his hips and that’s all it takes for Yoongi to unravel.

He moans out Gi’s name as he climaxes and slowly rocks himself through the aftershocks as Gi hold his hips until it’s too much and he stills in Gi’s hold and rests his head on his shoulder. Gi kisses the top of his head. “You did so well Yoongs. Felt so good, such a nice way to wake up. Did you dream about me?” He asks grinning. Yoongi turns a beautiful shade of pink. “I was thinking about us and I didn’t know how to ask for something sexual or if I should and one thing led to another and well, you know.” Gi cooed.

“Yoongi, I would give you anything I can offer, if you want to be more physical then that’s something I’m willing to do, all you have to do is say so, even in little, subtle ways. Okay?” Yoongi nods. “Okay. I was just worried that it’d be too soon to ask.” Gi nods. “That’s understandable, now lets go get you cleaned up.” “Wait, did you cum yet?” Yoongi looks down and sees Gi’s erection still straining in his pants. Yoongi looks up at him and asks. “Do you need help with that?” Gi smirks. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind.” Yoongi smiles and pushes Gi back into the couch and grabs his pants and pulls them down his legs.

Yoongi sees his boyfriends hard on straining against his underwear and licks it through the fabric. Yoongi pulls them down and looks back up at Gi. “I’ve got some rules you have to follow, alright?” Gi nods. “Okay.” Yoongi smirks and crawls into his lap. “First off, I’m in control, I choose how fast I suck your dick, if you behave I might let you use my mouth. Secondly, hands can not push or pull my head, they can be in the hair but they cannot move my head unless I say so. Got it?” “Got it.” Gi replies. “Good. And lastly, you have to moan for me. I’m not picky, about pitch, I just want it to be loud, frequent and real, none of that fake porn moan shit. Alright?” Gi agrees and Yoongi is satisfied.

“Good, now sit back and relax, so you can take in the tongue technology that’s gonna make you scream.” Before Yoongi can go down on him, Gi touches his shoulder. “Wait! I want you to know that I’m clean, I’m not saying you have to, but it’s an option.” Yoongi is so gonna suck his dick dry. With that Yoongi takes the head of his dick into his mouth and plays with his slit. Yoongi goes further down and comes back up leisurely sucking at a slow pace, it has Gi gasp at the feel of it. Soon enough though Gi is starting to wiggle a little, trying to get more. He likes the pleasure he’s receiving, but it’s not enough.

“Yoongi, pl-pleeeeaaase. I need more. Please babe.” That’s what Yoongi was waiting for. He immediately took Gi to the base and started sucking. Gi clutched Yoongi’s hair tightly and moaned loudly. Using his tongue along veins and other sensitive places Yoongi made it his mission to get his boyfriend to cum quickly. He began to deep throat Gi and started a hum in his throat as he bobbed his head up and down. “Babe- babe I’m close!” Yoongi didn’t pull off, and sucked harder. A few seconds later Gi was cumming down the back of Yoongi’s throat. “Y-Yoongi!” He shouted as he finished. Suga helped him through his aftershocks and like he promised himself, he sucked Gi’s dick clean.

Yoongi went to change his underwear and pants in their room. As he was changing he felt arms wrap around him from behind. “Thank you. That was the best blow job I think I’ve ever had. Literally.” “Hmm, get blown often do you?” Gi chuckles. “No, I can count those experiences on one hand. And out of all of those, you are the best.” Something inside Yoongi was bursting with pride to know that he was and is his boyfriends best sexual experience so far.

“Glad to see my tongue technology can be used for two things.” He says. “I bet we’ll find more than two.” Gi says cheekily as he leans in for a kiss. Yoongi lets him and Gi slips his tongue into the kiss when Yoongi realizes he can probably taste himself so he pulls away. “I’m gonna go brush my teeth.” Yoongi says as he walks to the bathroom. He comes back to their room a few minutes later to see Gi with his underwear on and their pants and phones in his hands. “You have a lot of messages you might want to check.” Yoongi groans and takes the phone.

**Jinman < Yoongles**

**Jinman** : You better not  
You did  
I can’t believe you  
I’m sorry  
Yoongi don’t ignore me I was just messing.  
Yoongi please.  
Yoongi!  
Y  
O  
O  
N  
G  
I  
Fine, I’ll leave you alone.

Yoongi rolled his eyes and replies.

 **Yoongles** : Sorry I was busy sucking off my boyfriend.

 **Jinman** : WHAT?!  
Is this because I called you a virgin? Cause I’m aware of how many relationships you’ve had I just meant you’re a virgin in this relationship! You know?

 **Yoongles** : Kind of, but not because I was spiteful. I was curious if Gi would even want to do anything sexual and we ended up doing sexual stuff. Win win. Ignoring you and getting action.

 **Jinman** : I’m hurt but proud at the same time.  
Namjoon says he’s proud that you’re getting the dick.  
Anyways time to inform the GC

 **Yoongles** : Wait, no!!

**Mom < GC: “The Idiot Collective”**

**Mom** : **@Taetae**  you were kind of right! Yoongi used his TOUNGE TECHNOLOGY on Gi!!

 **Taetae** : I’m so smart aren’t I? Or did I give Yoongi hyung some ideas? (･ω<)☆

 **Kookie** : Yoongi:*To Gi* dO yOu WaNt SoMe FuCk?  
Gi: Yes  
*Distant fucking noises*

 **Dad** : Kook what the fuck?

 **Hobi** : Excuse you he meme’n. Keep it up Kook! Quality shit!

 **Chimchim** : Babe no. Don’t support him on this.

 **Hobi** : Sorry Kook you need some new ideas.

 **Kookie** : Wow. Very sad, much betrayal.

 **Taetae** : Better.

 **Suga** : So to clear things up. I did suck my boyfriends dick and he moaned so loud our entire floor probably heard it.

 **Gabriel** : Damn Gay I did.

 **Dad** : Gay?

 **Gabriel** : I can’t say straight now can I?

 **Chimchim** : True. And kind of gross. We don’t need to know anymore.

 **Mom** : Yeah. I thought they’d be embarrassed, but they own up to it so it’s not as fun. No more sexual story times.

 **Yoongi** : Oh no what ever will we do?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being inactive, this is the best I can do right now and I hope you all enjoy. Also comment which date idea you like best and if I can I’ll insert fake photos of Taekook and photos I’ve taken that suit the date.

**Taetae < GC:”The Idiot Collective”**

**Taetae** : Send me some hell!  
I mean I could go to hell but I was asking for help.  
Help me and send me to hell.

 **Kookie** : How about no? What do you need help with?

 **Taetae** : You can’t be here rn  
* **Taetae has removed Kookid from GC: “The Idiot Collective”** *  
No one add him back until I say so

 **Dad** : Why?

 **Taetae** : I haven’t taken my boy on a date in a while so I need ideas, so if y’all would help DM them to me.  
I know he’ll see all of this once we add him back.

 **Chimchim** : Ok!

**Taetae < Chimchim**

**Chimchim** : You gotta take him to the zoo. He loves animals and he loves photography. Take him on a zoo date.

 **Taetae** : I like this idea and we haven’t done it yet. Thank you for your contribution.

**Taetae < GC: “The Idiot Collective”**

**Taetae** : Anyone else?

 **Mom** : I gotchu

 **Gi** : Same

 **Yoongi** : Maybe

 **Dad** : I will add to this

 **Hobi** : Yeah gimme a minute.

 **Taetae** : Thank you all for your contributions.

**Taetae < Mom**

**Mom** : Stargazing picnic.

 **Taetae** : Ooooh, sounds good. Thank you for your contribution.

**Tae < Gi**

**Gi** : There’s a new art exhibit coming to a museum close by that Kook has been talking about, it’s gonna be here for two months.

 **Tae** : Oooh, I’ve heard about it, and I almost forgot. Thank you for your contribution.

**V < Suga**

**V** : Whatcha got for me?

 **Suga** : A night in, cook something homemade and maybe a dessert or smth and watch a scary movie and cuddle.

 **V** : (☉∀☉) V soft, much approve. I’m surprised you didn’t just say sleep or nap date.

 **Suga** : I was gonna, but then I actually got an idea.

 **V** : Nice. Thank you for your contribution.

**Gucci TM < Tree**

**Tree** : Try the planetarium if you haven’t been already.

 **Gucci** **TM** : Your boyfriend said to do a stargazing picnic, you think too much a like.

 **Tree** : Did he really? That’s so funny. It also had to do with the fact that you both like the stars.

 **Gucci** **TM** : True. Thank you for your contribution.

  **HakunamyTaetaes** **<** **Hosecock**

 **HakunamyTaetaes** : When did we change our names?

 **Hosecock** : I changed them both when I was drunk. We can change it.

* **HakunamyTaetaes changed their name to Sunflower** *

* **Hosecock changed their name to The Sun TM** *

 **Sunflower** : Anyway, date ideas.

 **The** **Sun** **TM** : Roller skating, Kook is an active guy and I know it’s something he hasn’t done yet, but he’s alright at ice skating and I figure they’re like the same principles so he should be good at it.

 **Sunflower** : Awesome! Thank you for your contribution.

**Taetae < GC: “The Idiot Collective” **

**Taetae** : Well I’m surprised, I got so many different answers and not one of you said shopping, movie theatre, dinner in town or sex. Thank you for exceeding my expectations!

 **Hobi** : You’re welcome?

* **Taetae has added Kookie to GC: “The Idiot Collective”** *

 **Kookie** : What did he do?  
He’s supposed to be at work rn so I couldn’t take his phone from him and he wouldn’t reply to my texts.  
Why did none of you add me back? You didn’t even talk in the GC?

 **Chimchim** : Well, Tae said we shouldn’t and he had the whole thing pretty handled. So why not?

 **Taetae** : For your information I’m on my break currently. So I’m being a good employee and boyfriend, so if you’ll excuse me I can’t boyfriend anymore because I gotta go employee now. Bye I love you Jungkookie! （*＾3＾）<3

 **Yoongi** : Disgusting.

 **Gabriel** : Yoongibear I love you so much you’re the most precious person to me!

 **Yoongi** : I love you too baby! My absolute world I would give you everything you need only ask. <3 <3

 **Mom** : (⊙＿⊙)

 **Dad** : ^

 **Hobi** :^^

 **Chimchim** :^^^

 **Kookie** : What.The.hEcK? Was that?

 **Yoongi** : What was what?

 **Kookie** : Nvm (ｰ ｰ;) Anyway, Taetae my beloved where are we going?

 **Taetae** : Can’t say. No one tell him anything it’s a surprise.

 **Kookie** : Mom! Please I’ll be the best baby boy you’ve ever had!! （人･ω･)

 **Mom** : I....I can’t. I’m sorry my beautiful child but it’s Taetae’s surprise and he wants to make you happy. Don’t you want to be happy?

 **Kookie** : ⊙▂⊙

 **Dad** : He turned that around on you so fast. I’m in love with the right man.

 **Mom** : （￣ε￣ʃƪ）

 **Dad** : （*＾3＾）

 **Kookie** : Gross.

 **Taetae** : ily Jungoo

 **Kookie** : ily Taetae

 **Mom** : Gross

 **Suga** : Everyone needs a break. We need to all take a break. Goodbye.

 **Gabriel** : Bye!

 **Hobi** : Wha?

 **Chimchim** : Nap time!

 **Taetae** : Goodbye.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient and here’s another chapter. Also follow me on tumblr @blankpaperboi and talk to me and send me suggestions. Anyways let’s get to it.

**Taetae** : ITS DATE DAAAAYYYYY!!!

 **Kookie** : My boyfriend is taking me places cause he loves me!!! Suck it bitchez!

 **Dad** : Bitches*

 **Kookie** : Did I stutter?

 **Dad** : No, you misspelled bitches in an attempt to be cool.

 **Kookie** : :( You’re mean with you’re unflinching logic and unfun dadittude.

 **Dad** : I’m sorry. Let me try again.  
WAAAAASSSSSSSSSSAAAAHHH DUDE!

 **Mom** : Joonie pls, no.

 **Dad** : Who’s Joon? I’m Johnny! Y’all want some good kush?

 **Hobi** : If it’s not from the dollar store then I don’t want any.

 **Dad** : Dude I said the good kush, where else would it be from?

 **Hobi** : BRUUUUUHHHH!

 **Dad** : I gotchu bro.

 **Suga** : Did the break do nothing for you guys? And Namjoon quit pretending to be a stoner, last time you were offered a blunt you practically shouted that you had to piss and ran off.

 **Dad** : True Story.

 **Mom** : I want to hear this story.

 **Gabriel** : You didn’t do it though right Yoongi?

 **Suga** : Of course not, why would I? I don’t need to do drugs for entertainment or whatever.

 **Mom** : So then how did you tell them no?

 **Suga** : I told them I’ll pass and they let me go because a) more for them and b) they weren’t gonna force me to do shit because I’m badass Min Yoongi.

 **Mom** : Fair enough. Anyways was that all Namjoon did?

 **Dad** : Yes

 **Suga** : Basically. We were at our first of few college parties. He was asked first and he said , “No. I have to go pee.” But he stuttered, his voice cracked and he said it pretty loudly. He also looked nervous as hell. Then they asked me and I passed then got up to go check on Joon who actually went to the bathroom and then I told him we were leaving cause I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable. Also we would’ve smelled like weed so I got us out of there asap.

 **Kookie** : Nice story. Anyway, I’m going somewhere special with my Taehyungie today!

 **Taetae** : Yes my beautiful mans and are going to, drumroll please!

 **Hobi** : *drum noises*

 **Taetae** : The zoo/aquarium!

 **Chimchim** : YEAH

 **Kookie** : Yay!  
Why are you so happy? This is my date get your own.

 **Chimchim** : Bitch I suggested this date idea be nice.

 **Kookie** : Thanks hyung!

 **Chimchim** : I’m teasing. Have fun you guys.

 **Taetae** : Oh we will. ;)

 **Mom** : I forbid an sexual antics on this date unless you are at your apartment.  
I swear you kinky fuck Kim Taehyung if I have to bail your asses out of jail for public indecency I’ll leave you there.

 **Taetae** : *Read 11:30AM*

**-2 hours later-**

**Dad** : It’s been two hours and still no reply?

 **Mom** : Nope.

 **Hobi** : Lol they’re probably busy if you know what I mean a wink wonk.

 **Chimchim** : Ew. No. Just don’t.

 **Gabriel** : Or their actually enjoying the zoo?

 **Suga** : I’m not so sure about that

 **Gabriel** : You really think Tae would try to convince Kook to do something like that and Kook would do it?

 **Suga** : All I’m saying is Taehyung is an unpredictable guy sometimes. So I wouldn’t put it past him to try it.

 **Kookie** : Oml you guys are pervs. Thank you Gi for having some faith in us.

 **Taetae** : Lol. I really don’t find the idea of getting caught like that appealing though. Sorry to disappoint.

 **Kookie** : Anyways I took some nice photos today on my camera and I’m very happy with how they look.

 **Gabriel** : Can I see them when you get them on a computer or when I see you next?

 **Kookie** : Absolutely, anything for MY FAVOURITE HYUNG!

 **Mom** : That titles taken.

 **Kookie** : Stop speculating about my sex life and maybe it’d still be yours.

 **Mom** : I’m wounded.

 **Kookie** : Anyway, pictures.

 **Taetae** : He took pics of everything.

 **Hobi** : I love animals. I wanna go now.

 **Chimchim** : We should go sometime baby.

 **Hobi** : Of course Jiminie.

 **Gabriel** : Hey Yoongi you free tonight?

 **Suga** : Sorry baby I promised Namjoon I’d come in and finish my track. We gotta finish soon.

 **Hobi** : You guys still haven’t done yours?

 **Dad** : I’m almost done

 **Suga** : I’m halfway but it’ll be done in no time.

 **Chimchim** : Hobi when did you finish yours?

 **Hobi** : A few days ago. I’ll go over it with them when they finish theirs so we can check our flow and then make a song together. That’s how we plan to do it anyway. We have two weeks till the whole thing should be done. We’ve been kind of slacking off.

 **Chimchim** : Could you come help me with some choreography? I have a solo performance coming up.

 **Hobi** : Oh yeah! For the dancers display right? I’m glad you got a solo spot this year!!

 **Mom** : Did you get one Hobi? A solo spot.

 **Hobi** : No, I’m doing a group choreo with Yugyeom and Bambam. Pretty cool dudes.

 **Gabriel** : Nice.

 **Hobi** : So when should I come over?

 **Chimchim** : Tonight preferably. You have a key so come whenever you can.

 **Hobi** : Alright. Omw.

 **Kookie** : Whipped.

 **Taetae** : I can get it out tonight if you’d like. We haven’t used it in a while.

 **Kookie** : Stop! Why am I being betrayed?

 **Suga** : You did this to yourself.

 **Kookie** : Shut up Agust no dick.

 **Gabriel** : *Pushes glasses up* Actually I can confirm that he does in fact have a dick.  
So technically he is AgustD or as you were putting it, Agust dick.

 **Suga** : Thanks babe.

 **Gabriel**. No problem.

 **Mom** : All of you need to go eat something and take a nap. Lord knows none of us get as much sleep as we should.

 **Dad** : Jinnie baby come over. We can watch The Ngithmare Before Christmas and cuddle and possibly fall asleep.

 **Mom** : That sounds amazing but...

 **Dad** : But? Are you rejecting me?

 **Mom** : Don’t you have a track to finish?

 **Dad** : (ﾟoﾟ) Right. Yeah. Then, movie tomorrow night?

 **Mom** : Absolutely

 **Dad** : Okay. Bye baby!

 **Mom** : Bye babe.

 **Gabriel** : I already miss my mans :(

 **Mom** : Wanna come over and watch movies?

 **Gabriel** : ⊙▽⊙ Best hyung!!

 **Mom** : You know it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is literally two months later but here we go and Merry Christmas.

**Kookie** **< GC: The Idiot Collective”**

 **Kookie** : So gang, are we going to the party tonight?

 **Dad** : That’s the plan.

 **Mom** : We’re all on the invite list also, Jimin and Hoseok. I’m telling you now, tone down the dirty dancing. You guys may be good dancers but that does NOT mean you need to practically FUCK on the dance floor.

 **Hobi** : You’re not my mum. I’ll do what I want.

 **Mom** : Actually I am your mum. Also I’m not saying you can’t just, when things start getting real hot and heavy take it to somewhere private. Also condoms.

 **Kookie** : WAIT! Was this the place where you found Hobi and Jimin making out and threw a condom at them?!

 **Mom** : Yes. It was at Jackson’s. Wasn’t it baby?

 **Dad** : It was. Jacksons only hosted a few though, he permits alcohol but no drugs. His parents house (mansion) is fucking huge and there are so many spare rooms that are for “guest use”.

 **Mom** : They keep the rooms stocked with supplies, but I come prepared with my own.

 **Dad** : My man ;)

 **Mom** : You know it baby.

 **Suga** : When is it staring?

 **Dad** : 7:00 tonight. They go till midnight. And you guys can’t forget your student ID’s.

 **Tae** : Why?

 **Dad** : Jackson’s friend Jaebum made a computer program of the guest list and they’ll scan the ID to make sure you are who you are and you can’t fake it so many people have been caught trying to sneak in. No ID no entry. Even if they know you they won’t let you in cause then it’s not fair. Also they can call you out on underaged drinking and catch people trying to do bad things.

 **Hobi** : Thems the rules.

 **Gi** : Wow no wonder they’re Joon’s friends. They sound super smart.

 **Dad** : Yeah they’re fairly smart, probably all of them are with passing grades, but they’re crackheads like us. So it doesn’t always seem that way.

 **Suga** : So you can do crack but you won’t hit a blunt?

 **Dad** : (¬_¬)

 **Suga** : I’m only teasing.

 **Hobi** : Jin’s just jealous because I can slut drop better than him.

 **Mom** : Don’t make me laugh. Hobi I love you and you’re an amazing dancer but my slut drop is epic because 1) I am long and I get down low. 2) My ass is perfect. 3) My handsome face will obviously attract attention. 4) I go from standing up to a squat .5 seconds.

 **Hobi** : Well I’m challenging you. At the party tonight, we’ll see who’s the real queen of slut drops.

 **Mom** : You’re on.

 **Dad** : Jin is this a good idea?

 **Mom** : Joonie my title is being challenged, I have to prove I am worthy of it.

 **Dad** : ...ok

**Yoongi < Namjoon**

**Yoongi** : What’s wrong?

 **Namjoon** : nthing

 **Yoongi** : Lies. You normally text in coherent sentences. You didn’t capitalize or use punctuation. Everything good?

 **Namjoon** : Maybe? I’m- I’m already worried about the party. I know Jin loves to mess around with Hobi, but this whole slut drop thing has me thinking that people will take one look and try to snatch him up.

 **Yoongi** : I understand you’re worried Joon, but Jin only has eyes for you. He’ll probably be out to seduce you.

 **Namjoon** : He doesn’t have to try that hard.

 **Yoongi** : I know, but he’ll try hard anyway because it’s you and he loves you.

 **Namjoon** : Thank you Yoongi. I needed that.

 **Yoongi** : No problem Joon.

 **Suga** **< GC: “The Idiot Collective”**

 **Mom** : Jungcockx!!!! Getbaxknerewithmtchixknmmmugfrts!!!

 **Dad** : What’s happening? I went to get a snack.

 **Kookie** : !!!!!!!!!

 **Hobi** : Well, since Jin got off work and I wasn’t getting anything done at the library we were gonna meet up at McDonalds and Kook tagged along even though he “wasn’t hungry” and then when we got to the entry way of the apartments he snagged Jin’s food. They might be heading your way Nam.

Sure enough as Namjoon finished reading Hoseok’s long text, Jungkook busts through the door and immediately runs to him. “You’ve gotta hide me. I’m an innocent man.” He pleads. Namjoon looks down. “Kook you have the bag in your hand.” Jungkook looks down too. “Okay, so I’m a broke college student.” Namjoon sighs. “Jungkook McDonalds isn’t that expensive.”

Now it’s Jungkook’s turn to sigh. “You’re wasting time you have to-“ Before he can finish Jin bursts into the apartment. “You’re lucky that so many goddamn people were on the elevator and that I didn’t take the stairs or you would’ve been dead ages ago!” Jungkook immediately hides behind Namjoon as if he can’t be seen.

Jin slowly and purposefully walks towards Namjoon. “Namie, Joonbug, Joonie, Namu, my lovely Namjoon. I need to take care of the pest behind you, so please step out of the way.” Jin places his hands on Namjoon’s shoulders and plays with the hair at the nape of his neck making Namjoon arch into the touch.

“C’mon Joonie, If you move and I get my food back, we’ll kick the brat out and then you can do that thing you like to do to me. With your tongue.” Jin says into Joons’ ear as he puts his chin on Namjoon’s shoulder, looking a terrified Jungkook in the eyes. Jungkook makes the smart decision and puts the bag down and shuffled his way to the door.

After they hear it close Jin pulls back and gives Namjoon a sweet kiss. “Thank you baby.” He says trying to pull away. Namjoon catches his shoulder and holds him there. He lowers his face to Jin’s neck and kisses the span of it. Jin doesn’t mind, in fact he finds it soothing, until his boyfriend decides the upper side of his neck is the perfect place to leave a mark.

“Joon, I’m gonna have to cover that up.” He says breathlessly. Namjoon growls in response. “Mine. All mine, right baby?” Jin moans. Namjoon doesn’t get possessive often because he’s confident in their relationship, and he trusts Jin. Jin never wants to betray his trust and intentionally make Joon jealous because then he’d feel guilty. But sometimes Namjoon needs Jin to reassure him that he’s the one he wants.

“Yes, yes baby all yours. No one else’s.” Namjoon bites a little harder after that and then licks the side of Jin’s neck before moving away completely leaving Jin feeling wobbly. “Why’d you stop?” Jin whines. Namjoon smirks. “To leave you wanting more, also so you can eat your nuggets before they get cold.” Jin smiles and pulls Namjoon down for a quick kiss. “You know me so well.”

He picks the bag up and looks in it to find an empty fries container and an empty nugget container. “That thief! He got away with it! I’m gonna-“ Jin says making his way to the door, but is stopped by arms wrapping around him. “How about, you stay here with me, I’ll do that thing with my tongue that you really like, and then I’ll buy you twice the nuggets and fries. How’s that sound?”

Jin turns in Namjoon’s hold to give him a deep kiss. “It sounds absolutely perfect.” They kiss and stumble to their bedroom for an afternoon of fun activities, and maybe get some nuggets later.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m alive and have prepared two chapters for y’all. I try to write when inspiration strikes me so don’t be afraid to give encouragement or suggestions in the comments! Thanks for reading!

**-7:00 that evening-**

Everyone showed up on time and they all collected at the corner of where the Wang estate starts. RM began the checklist.

“Now that we’re all here, let’s go over what we need to have. One, and most importantly student ID.” A chorus of checks were heard from amongst the group. “Ok phones at a reasonable charge.” Check. “Wallets just in case.” Check. “And finally the more discrete items.” This was met with more checks and a wolf whistle. Namjoon rolled his eyes. “Okay then all of us are set.” He says.

As they walk up to the entrance Namjoon wraps his arm around Jins’ hips. Jimin notices the action and smiles at his friends, when he notices a faint mark on Jins’ neck. It looks like a bruise, but it’s too light to be one. “Jin hyung I think you have some dirt on your neck or something.” Jin looks to Jimin. “Really? Where?” Jimin points at the mark he saw without touching the skin, much to Jins’ relief.

“Oh, thank you Jimin. I’ll take care of it when we get inside. Namjoon can help me find it. Right Joonie?” Joon looks at him and where he’s pointing. “Yeah, I can help you with it.” He says with a smile. They reach the front of the line and Namjoon is practically pulled across the table by Jackson into a hug.

“It’s been a while man! Where’ve you been hiding?” Namjoon smiles. “I’ve been busy with school and keeping all of them,” He says gesturing to his group behind him. “in line. Although it’s been relatively easy with my lovely boyfriends help.” Jin blushes as Namjoon brings the attention to him. “This place looks pretty packed for a party on a Monday night.” Jin comments. Jaebum nods. “Yeah it kind of is.” Jackson speaks up. “Oh, Seokjin hyung! I still remember when Joon here had a crush on you. Did he ever tell you what he told me when he first saw you?”

Namjoon immediately shoved his student ID into Jacksons hands. “How about we don’t and you can let us in! Don’t want to hold up the line you know!” Jackson cackles and agrees as he hands off the ID’s to Jaebum. It’s only a minute before all of them are through the line and are walking into the party. Namjoon however pulls them all off to the side real quick.

“Alright gang. We’ll let you run off in a moment, but before you do I want you all to set an alarm for 10PM in your phones, label the alarm meet at the front entrance. Okay?” They all comply, but Jimin speaks up. “Why though?”

“So that we can all get home safely. Neither Jin or I are drinking tonight so we can get all of you home, but I would like to ask that you drink responsibly.” Jungkook boos. “Watch yourself mister.” Jin says.

After that they all separate and go their own ways. And by that I mean that they went with their boyfriends. Jimin and J-hope went to the dance floor, Jungkook and Taehyung went to the bar, Namjoon and Jin found some sober enough friends and chatted, while Yoongi and Gi went out upstairs to explore.

Yoongi had suggested it and Gi agreed. He knows Yoongi doesn’t like being in the middle of a crowd often, and he’d feel bad abandoning him. So they explored the top floor of what really should be classified as a mansion. They walked down the corridor side by side, swinging their hands between them. They walked passed multiple closed doors and Gi couldn’t hear anything so he asumes no one has come to ‘use’ the rooms yet.

They make it almost all the way back around to where they started, when two ornate glass doors catch Yoongi’s eye. He stops walking for a moment and then he approaches the door. Gi comes closer and looks over his shoulder. It’s a small balcony area that looks like a good place to view the stars tonight.

Yoongi looks to Gi. “Care to join me on the balcony?” He asks extending his hand out Gi. Gi smiles at his ridiculous boyfriend. “Of course love.” They walk out onto the balcony into the nice evening air. They can feel the base shaking from down stairs and can faintly hear the music. “Love?” Yoongi asks. “Shut up I was trying to be cute.” Gi says as he places his hands on the balcony railing.

Yoongi wraps his arms around Gi’s waist from behind him. “I think it’s adorable. It just wasn’t expected.” They’re quiet for a while, looking at the few stars they can see and the substitutes of distant city lights. Yoongi nuzzles his face into the crook of Gi’s neck and leaves a kiss. “Yoongi, you know my neck is sensitive.” Gi whines. Yoongi hums. “I know.” He says and continues to leave kisses on Gi’s neck.

Yoongi started to make open mouthed kisses on his neck. Just sucking on the skin a little bit before realising it as to not leave marks. Not yet anyway. Suddenly the balcony doors are thrown open. “I KNEW I SHOULD’VE LOCKED THIS DOOR!! I’VE TOLD YOU TWO TO STOP TRYING TO FUCK ON MY BALCONY!”” Yoongi and Gi whip around to see an angry Jackson, but he looks surprised as soon as he sees their faces.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry guys. I didn’t realise it was you, Bambam and Yugyeom gave me the odd threat that they’d fuck on my balcony and I would rather not have these parties get shut down.” He explains. Yoongi nods. “That’s understandable. We can leave so you can block this off if you want.” Jackson smiles. “That would be great, thanks. Sorry for cockblocking you Yoongs, I know that you hardly ever get your dick wet old man.” Jackson jokes.

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “I’ve actually been getting plenty with my lovely boyfriend here, and I really don’t wanna know about your freaky ass sex life with Jinyoung. I wouldn’t be able to look at him in the face at work anymore if you did.” Jackson pinks and turns his attention to locking the balcony door. “Well, if you guys want a place to hang out there’s a gaming room up one floor and down the hall a bit. Room 35. Just don’t fuck in there ok?” He asks.

“Will do, and thanks Jackson.” Gi says. “No problem. You go take care of your old geezer!” Jackson says louder than necessary. Yoongi and Gi climb the stairs and reach the room Jackson had told them about. It was a huge gaming room with games filling the shelves and different console types with a huge flat screen TV in front of them. “Jungkook would cry if he saw this set up.” Gi says in awe. “Yeah, lets make sure he doesn’t come up here cause we’d never get him out.” Yoongi says. Gi nods in agreement.

“Well. Do you think he has Friday the 13th?” Gi asks. Yoongi shrugs. “Maybe, lets get looking.” Surprisingly they actually do find it, but it was for a different console then they were used to. “Are you sure you want to play? Won’t it be confusing?” Yoongi asks. Now it’s Gi’s turn to shrug. “Let’s just try, okay?” Yoongi agrees even though he feels like this isn’t going to end well.

**-A few hours later-**

“What. The. FUCK!?” Yoongi shouts aggressively waving the controller around as the screen tells him he’s died for the fifteenth time tonight. “I AM SO DONE! IM DONE! I GIVE UP, FOR REAL THIS TIME!” Yoongi says as he falls back to lay on the carpeted floor. “Well you said the same thing about an hour earlier so, are you really done?” Gi asks. Yoongi nods with his lips in a pout.

“Aww, is the baby upset?” Gi asks, teasing Yoongi. “M’not a baby.” He replies, still pouting. “Really? So you don’t want to be my baby? Because my baby gets kisses, and cuddles. I play with his hair, rub his back and do tons of sexy thing with him too.” Gi says as his hand drifts down Yoongi’s torso to play with the waistband of his pants.

Gi moves from laying beside Yoongi to straddling him, staying on hands and knees. “What do you think hmm? Would you like to be my baby boy? Because I can think of a few things right now that I would love to do to you before the night is over. Gi says against Yoongi’s neck, nibbling on the skin there.

Yoongi takes a shaky breath in. “Y-yes.” “What was that?” Gi taunts. “I’ll be your baby boy. What do I call you then?” He asks. “Whatever you want, because I plan on calling you mine, my baby boy, my kitten, my hyung, and my Yoongi.” Yoongi smiles at Gi’s words. “Well then you’re my huge sap, because that totally changed the mood. You went from being a sexy Dom to sappy boyfriend in no time.” Yoongi tells him.

“Well I would love to eat you out right here right now, but Jackson didn’t want people fucking in here, and I can see why. I also don’t wanna be on his shit list, so if you want to continue this we should move elsewhere.” Gi reminds him. Yoongi gives a large sigh. “I suppose you have a point. C’mon.” He says as they get up and put everything away.

Yoongi exits the room last and shuts the door. As soon as he does he finds himself pinned against it with Gi’s lips back on his neck and Gi’s knee rubbing against his crotch. “Babe, I-I thought we were-“ Yoongi cuts himself off with a moan as Gi starts to suck harder with the intention of giving his boyfriend a beautiful and a very obvious hickey.

They don’t get to anything too serious before they are stopped by someone calling their names. “Yoongi! Gi! Have either of you seen Tae and Kook? Jin is trying to handle horny and drunk Hobi and Jimin. We need to move before they decide to fuck on the ping-pong table.” Yoongi growls in distaste. “It’s not even ten o’clock yet, we’ll be done by then, promise.”

And as if the universe could hear him and for some reason decided to side with Namjoon, three different ring tones echo throughout the hallway signifying that it was now ten and it is time to go. Namjoon looks at Yoongi smugly as he turns off his alarm. “Well unless you could’ve busted a nut five seconds ago I think you can wait till you get home.” Gi and Yoongi then turn off their alarms and follow Namjoon downstairs.

They meet a frazzled Jin in the living room who is trying to keep Jimin and Hoseok busy. “Could one of you come help me while the others go find the two youngest idiots please?” Namjoon automatically rushes to Jin’s aid leaving Gi and Yoongi to find Tae and Kook.

They wander through the mansion and ask sober looking people if they’ve seen the two of them. Most have pointed them in the direction of the kitchen. As Yoongi and Gi squeeze their way into the kitchen they see two people making out by the fridge who have bright coloured hair. One head of bright blue, the other a striking red. They would’ve completely walked away if the blue haired male hadn’t moaned Jungkook’s name. They immediately recognised Taehyung’s voice.

“Oi! Gucci addict and baby dick, we’ve got to go and making out on the kitchen counter is not helping so let’s get moving.” Gi says over the loud base from a few rooms over. Jungkook turns around and breaks out into a dopey grin. “Hyungs! Taetae and I got our hair died! We’re gonna make purple! But I will miss my pretty blonde Taetae. Yet blue looks hot on you baby.” Jungkook tells Taehyung who smiles back at him.

“I know, I think blue suits me. And I loved your petty chocolate hair but you look super sexy in red. Defiantly can’t wait to make purple with you Jungkookie.” Tae says. “I mean it you two, out to the main entrance now.” Gi says in and authoritative tone of voice. The maknaes decide to wisely heed their hyungs words even though they weren’t completely coherent.

Yoongi looks at him in complete adoration. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Gi gives him a look. “Those nicknames were pure gold. And you are super hot when you’re demanding.” Gi chuckles. “Of course you’d get turned on in this situation.” “I was already turned on, it just made remember why I was so excited in the first place.” He says.

“Well we have to get the boys home safe and sound, after that we can go home and be as dirty as you want.” Gi compromises. “But you have to be good kitten. No tricks, no teasing from either of us, just good behaviour so we can help our friends. Alright?” Yoongi thinks about it. “Do I still get kisses?” Gi laughs. “As long as they don’t turn dirty and if they do, you’ll be cut off until we get home.” Yoongi nods at Gi’s words. “Deal.”

They move back out to the front entrance to gather up the idiots and drive them home. They all came in Jin’s car so they didn’t have to worry about other vehicles being left behind. Neither Gi or Yoongi really noticed anything was amiss until they stopped at the Namjin apartment.

“I thought we were taking them home?” Yoongi asks. “Yeah well they’re all really drunk and I figured it would be easier to just drive here and care for everyone instead of letting them go home and possibly die. So help me get them into the apartment.” Jin says. Yoongi wants to protest but Gi is already helping so he starts trying to get Taehyung up and into the apartment.

After everyone has been unloaded into the house and changed into more comfortable clothes Yoongi corners Gi. “What are we gonna do?” He asks with an edge of impatience in his voice. “I suppose we could go home, but...” Gi trails off. Yoongi grabs Gi’s hand and places it on the front of his jeans where he’s still hard. “Well you need to think of something fast before I make some rash decisions. You started this and if I have to I’ll finish it.”

Gi nods quickly and looks around before his eyes lock on the bathroom. “You sound tense hyung. Maybe you need a shower? You know, it’ll help you relax. I can get those hard to reach places for you if you’d like?” Yoongi grabs the front of his shirt and drags him to the bathroom and lock the door behind them. “I’m in charge now. You have to be such a good friend don’t you? Well why don’t you be good for me hmm? How about you be good and I’ll make it worth your while. I know how much you love control but it’s my turn now. You need to be reminded to finish things once you start them. And I’ll make sure you finish.” Yoongi says lowly.

Honestly Gi was so ready for the best pounding of his goddamn life. Even if he knows he won’t walk right tomorrow, seeing Yoongi like this is so worth it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I’m back. Have fun with what I’ve got for you. It’s gonna be a triple upload. Enjoy! P.s. it’s all really dumb.

**Mom < GC: “The Idiot Collective”**

**Mom** : Who the FUCK do all of you think you are huh?

**Tae** : Can someone explain him and why my hair is blue and Kook’s is red?

**Mom** : I can explain all of it!! First of all, which of you horny fucks decided to have shower sex at my apartment last night? You may have cleaned up well but you were fucking LOUD! Secondly, who brought this fucking Devils jam in to my house?? Also Tae, apparently Bambam dared both of you to die your hair, and he knew where Jackson keeps his hair dye and was sober enough to do a good job and not kill either of you.

**Kookie** : He told you?!

**Mom** : No it was on his snapchat, and Tae was drunkenly talking about Bambam and hair dye.

**Tae** : Fair. And as for the fucking it wasn’t us because my ass doesn’t hurt. Wby Kook?

**Kookie** : Nope, perfectly fine. @Mochi JIMINSHI DOES YOUR ASS HURT?!

**Mochi** : Why is that the first text message I receive from you? And no it doesn’t. Why?

**Mom** : Scroll up.

**Mochi** : Ew no! Why would we fuck in YOUR shower?!

**Mom** : Stfu last night you were telling Hobi that you wanted to fuck on the ping-pong table ya nasty.

**Mochi** : I-

**Hobi** : My ass doesn’t hurt either so it wasn’t us.

**Mom** : That RAT!!

@Yoongi

@Yoongi

@Yoongi

WHY THE HELL DID YOU LET GI FUCK YOU IN MY SHOWER YOU ASS!!

**Yoongi** : Correction, I fucked him. Why? Cause he made me horny and didn’t do anything about it. End of story.

**Gi** : I wanted to stay and help hyungie with the others in the morning like a good dongsaeng. :(

**Mom** : Well next time just go home and come back in the morning.

**Gi** : Why didn’t we think of that?

**Yoongi** : Because hormones.

**Dad** : I mean... he’s not wrong, but I still don’t wanna hear you guys fucking in my shower at like eleven o’clock at night.

**Mom** : Now that that’s solved. Which one of you brought that Devils jam into my home?

**Tae** : Devils jam?

**Mom** : Nutella = Devils jam

**Hobi** : What do you have against Nutella? And that’s more of a spread than a jam right?

**Mom** : It’s so unhealthy and people try to pass it off as a harmless breakfast spread when it’s so much worse than that.

**Dad** : Jin you’re being dramatic sweetie. The director for the theatre department said it would be wise for leads to keep away from sweets to keep a good look about them. Nothing too serious but with Nutella you can’t eat it in one sitting. It stays in your cupboards and tempts you, that is why he doesn’t like it.

**Mochi** : Wow. Jin, you do know that it was a joke right? Like it’s okay to shift a few pounds as long as it’s not like 10. I think you’re allowed to indulge yourself.

**Mom** : I know that.

**Hobi** : Do you?

**Dad** : Baby I have a confession to make. You remember that low calorie chocolate cake we had a few weeks ago?

**Mom** : Yes.

**Dad** : It was just chocolate cake. Nothing low calorie about it. And before you blow up at me it was because you had a bad day and I thought it would help you.

**Mom** : You told me you knew of a bakery that made low cal stuff!

**Dad** : I lied because I love you and you are at a perfectly healthy weight. And as Jimin said he was just joking. If he had really said something insensitive I would’ve made a HUGE deal about it. Mr. Wol is a light hearted man and he would never do that to you because your like a son to him.

**Mom** : I’m kind of upset at you rn.

**Dad** : Kind of?

**Mom** : Kind of, but kind of not because you’re sweet and thoughtful and didn’t let me take it too far.

**Dad** : Of course I wouldn’t. I love you baby.

**Mom** : I love you to. Where did everyone else go?

**Dad** : Probably left.

**Mom** : Yeah. Hey! Wanna know something cool

**Dad** : What exactly is something cool?

**Mom** : My boyfriend. He’s super sweet, can rap like nobody else and inspires me daily.

**Dad** : Well I have a very handsome boyfriend who’s super confident in himself and pushes other people to see the good in them selves. Also he gets stuck in tight jackets covered in pearls.

**Mom** : OHMYGOD WHYY!?! That was from the prop closet how do you know this?!

**Dad** : I have my ways. But if it makes you feel any better I bet you looked amazing.

**Mom** : You’re lucky I love you!

**Dad** : I love you too Jinnie.

**Kook** : Gross.

My boyfriend is cuter. @Tae

He’s super kind and friendly, he’s amazing with kids, has such a large vocal range and is a talented painter and looks like a model 25/8.

**Tae** : Aww Jungkookie!!! You’re so precious and amazing at everything, you never fail to make me smile.

**Kookie** : （・ｗ・）

**Hobi** : That’s cute! I didn’t know it was boyfriend appreciation time. Jiminie you are my beautiful angel baby and I could never ask for a better partner in life. So I’ve got to ask, will you move in with me?

@Mochi

**Mochi** : Hobi!!! Of course I would! For a second I thought you were going to propose over text and I was going to murder you.

**Hobi** : I would never! I’m going to make that day extra special. So it’s a yes? Mochi: (*≧∀≦*) YEEESSS!!!

**Hobi** : （￣ε￣ʃƪ）

**Gi** : Congrats guys! MY TURN!!! My man has the fastest rap out there and such a cutting quick wit that no one dares fuck with him. But he’s my soft baby and I would commit a murder for him. I love you so much because all I have to do is show up with food outside the studio and he’s a blushing mess and that makes me happy!

@Yoongi

**Yoongi** : (〃￣ω￣〃ゞ Of course I’d smile when I see my lovely boyfriend providing for me. Now it’s my turn. My lovely man who looks absolutely adorable when he sleeps, who gives me so much energy and love that I don’t know what my life would be like without you now.

**Gi** : Do you watch me when I sleep because you think I’m cute?

**Yoongi** : (￣ω￣) Maybe.

**Gi** : You’re cute. Now I wanna see you. Can I take you out to dinner?

**Yoongi** : Of course baby. But I’m paying.

**Gi** : No hyung I AM!

**Yoongi** : We’ll see when we get there.

**Mom** : You see boys. That’s how it’s done. Romance him and he offers to pay for food. Ingenious.

**Mochi** : On a completely unrelated note, Hobi they’re playing that movie you wanted to go see tomorrow at the college theatre. You wanna go?

**Hobi** : Yeah lets go. I have nothing planned because the rap line turned in their shit on time. Good work too you guys.

**Dad** : Jinnie would go with me on a Tuesday evening date?

**Mom** : Depends. Where are we going?

**Dad** : I don’t know where we’re going, but I can tell you where it’ll end. ;)

**Mochi** : And we’re done. Goodbye go do weird shit to each other in person and not on here. We don’t need to see that. Goodbye!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys are really open with each other in this chapter in their own fun loving ways. But it’s kind of a talk about kinks. I don’t know why this keeps happening but here we are. Hope you enjoy!

**Tae** : So Jin. How was your day? Im asking because I want the others to hear this wonderfully iconic story.

**Mochi** : Is there tea? ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ

**Tae** : Yes, it’s boiling and amazingly delicious.

**Mochi** : HIT ME WITH IT!!!

**Kookie** : He’s still typing? It’s been like five minutes?

**Mochi** : It’s okay. Jin’s tea is always worth it.

**Tae** : Damn right!

**Mom** : Ok, so I was at rehearsal and I somehow intimidated this one chick enough, with my looks alone, that she starts threatening me to step down as a lead and to stay away from her boyfriend. I’ve never spoken to her cause she’s in maybe two scenes and our characters never interact. I also didn’t know she had a boyfriend but I never really cared because I DONT KNOW HER!! But apparently her bf is my characters best friend, and this guy is super nice and has spoke about her in such a loving way that I never would’ve thought that his girlfriend and this troll were the same person. Anyway she got huffy with me cause she’s insecure so it escalated to an argument and the bitch told me to go choke on some dick so I told her I’d call my boyfriend and tell him he can go hard tonight.

**Mochi** : IM SO FUCKING PROUD TO CALL YOU MY MOTHER!!! I BOW TO YOUR POWER AND MASTERY!!!

**Hobi** : ALL HAIL KING JIN!!!

**Kookie** : KING JIN!

**Tae** : KING JIN!

**Yoongi** : KING JIN!

**Gi** : KING JIN!

**Dad** : So babe when are you getting home? I’ve got somethings to do.

**Tae** : Oh right like what?

**Dad** : You know, I have a list of things I need to do. Clean the bathroom, make out with Jin, sweep the living room, suck Jin off, go grocery shopping, let Jin suck me off, cook dinner, fuck Jin, get a shower, fuck Jin again this time in the shower, get ready for bed, fuck Jin to sleep and then get up and go to work tomorrow. Duh.

**Mochi** : This family is run by Kings! Oh my god Namjoon!

**Gi** : Is that an everyday routine or just tonight?

**Dad** : That’s my daily right there. Also baby I’ll go as hard as you want just say the word.

**Mom** : Don’t worry I’ll let you know. ;)

**Tae** : Ok now I’m kind of curious. What’s the freakiest shit ya’ll have done. And not just Namjin I’m curious about the whole group whether it was by yourself or with a partner. Doesn’t have to have been with your current partner either.

**Mochi** : Hmmmm. Probably ridding dickwith my arms tied behind me while facing a mirror.

**Tae** : That’s so Hobi.

**Hobi** : ( ゜ - ゜ ) I don’t recall this happening? Yet I really wanted that to happen, like I was gonna plan that.

**Mochi** : Dummy we already did that. It was on your last birthday when you got super wasted. You kept telling me I was really pretty. Did you really not remember any of it?

**Hobi** : Oh!! I remembered that as if it were a dream. Yeah that was hot. We should do it again though.

**Mom** : Mine would probably be that time that Joon and I were late for lunch with his parents because we were busy having car sex.

**Dad** : Oh God I remember that. Yeah that’s probably mine too.

**Hobi** : You guys are proud of that?

**Mom** : God no that was a dumb, horny, mistake that we shouldn’t have done.  

Not the car sex itself but doing it before going to do something with family members. 

And Tae said the freakiest shit not our favourite sexual experience. 

**Tae** : I did say that. But you could also put your favorite if you haven’t done anything particularly wild.

**Kookie** : *cough* Gi and Yoongi *cough cough*

**Gi** : My wildest with Yoongi was fucking in Jin’s shower. The only other thing wilder than that was a friend with benefits went with me and our other friends to a carnival and I sucked him off in the Ferris wheel.

**Yoongi** : Why?

**Gi** : We were both horny and stupid. Honestly I was too worried about being caught that I didn’t enjoy it a whole lot. We didn’t stay together for too long after that.

**Yoongi** : Good.

**Gi** : Possessive.

**Yoongi** : You know it. Your ass is mine.

**Kookie** : Wow ok don’t need to see that.

Hmmm. Freakiest shit? Idk Tae keeps telling me he’ll bring out that whip but it hasn’t happened yet. But the time Tae edged me for like an hour, that would have to be it.

**Tae** : Damn. You right. That one was pretty up there for us. And Kook if you want me to I’ll show it to you tonight.

**Kookie** : You know what. BET. I’m calling your bluff. You don’t actually have a whip.

**Tae** : Ok so you’re right.

Kookie: I KNEW IT!

**Tae** : It’s a soft leather paddle. It’ll do the same job. Still interested?

**Kookie** : ( ⊙＿⊙ ) Maybe.

**Tae** : Great! ( ✿ ◠ ‿ ◠ )

**Hobi** : Why are we always horny on main guys? We gotta relax a little. Okay?

**Mochi** : Uh when you’re dating my ass bitch? You better always be horny on main for me.

**Hobi** : Horny on main forever guys!

**Gi** : In all seriousness though, at first I was unsure if I wanted to stick with you guys because you knew so much about each other’s personal and private life and moments with one another. But once I started sharing and got support I didn’t feel ashamed of myself so, thanks for supporting me guys. Thanks for supporting my horniness.

**Mom** : Of course we would! Ever since Jungkook was 15 we made a pact that we would talk about things like kinks and sexuality openly because public school doesn’tteach you shit about them. Plus being sexually open with people you trust is freeing. It’s nice not being ashamed of being a sexual person.

**Mochi** : Honestly I don’t think I would have accepted half of the stuff I’m into if it wasn’t for our group. 

**Hobi** : Aww. Group appreciation this time!

We should get together and have a movie night or something!

**Dad** : Tonight?

**Mom** : Later this evening and it’ll be at Hobi and Jimin’s new place. Right guys, since it was your suggestion.

**Mochi** : @Hobi  ಠ _ ಠ

**Hobi** : @Mochi (´ε ｀ ) ♡

**Mochi** : ( ￣ー￣ )

**Hobi** : (♥ω♥*)

**Mochi** :  ｡ ^‿^ ｡

**Hobi** : ( ⌐ ■_■) Mission accomplished.

Come over around 9:00 you guys.

**Yoongi** : Why is everyone so weird today?

**Gi** : What do you mean today? We’re weird every day.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The nicknames for this chapter came from the movie night and the JiHope apartment. They are in order of appearance...  
> Spice-Gi (lively person)  
> Sugar-Yoongi (name)  
> Cookie-Jungkook (name)  
> Mochi-Jimin (already username)  
> Honey-Hoseok (Golden glow and sweet)  
> Steak-Jin (Jin likes steak and noodles)  
> Noodle-Namjoon (Gangly boi)  
> Tea-Taehyung (name and gossiper)

**Spice** : So my boyfriend Min Yoongi, is the most talented man I think I’ve ever met.

**Sugar** : Says the man who’s lost of talents could rival Jungkook’s.

**Cookie** : Can what to who now?

**Spice** : Of course you guys outrank me. I was taught in stuffy lesson rooms when I didn’t really want to all the time. But you guys teach yourself cool stuff. Namjoon taught himself English from an American sitcom, Yoongi taught himself piano, Jimin taught himself how to sow, Jin taught himself how to cook, Hoseok is just a natural born dancer, Taehyung taught himself how to act and change face, and Jungkook Can teach himself literally anything.

 **Mochi** : Don’t put yourself down Gi! That’s not fair to yourself.

**Honey** : Yeah. You’re such a fast learner, it doesn’t matter how you did it!

**Spice** : That’s sweet of you guys but that’s not why I came here! I came here to appreciate the talent that is the one, the only, Min Yoongi.

**Sugar** : Hi. It me.

**Steak** : Why are we appreciating him?

**Spice** : I never said you had to but I am because he’s a legend.

**Sugar** : (〃 ￣ ω ￣ 〃 ゞ I’m flattered and I know what this about and it’s so unnecessary.

**Noodle** : Tell us! Tell us!

**Tea** : Tell us!

**Cookie** : tElL uS!

**Steak** : Tell us!

**Honey** : TELL US!

**Mochi** : Tell Us!

**Spice** : Ok, so we were in the practice room because I had brought him food per usual and some guy comes in with his little poseand sees us sitting on the music bench together talking and he tells us that if we’re going to chit chat then we should leave and make room for better pianists. So Yoongi is like whatever I’m cool with leaving. But I was not having it. So I told him that if he was such a good pianist he should give us a show and mix two songs together and play them. 

**Mochi** : You didn’t!

**Spice** : I did. So, I told him to do whatever he could think of and he chose to mashup Young dumb and broke with Thunder. In my personal opinion, it wasn’t the best song for him to be doing on a piano. Then it was Yoongi’s turn and guess what he chose. 

**Noodle** : Something ridiculous.

**Spice** : Well you’re half right. He didn’t choose. He told me to, and I told him to play Toxic with O come all ye faithful. He looked at me with fear in his eyes and then he cracked his knuckles with determination and made the most amazing thing I’ve heard today. It was amazing.

**Sugar** : Thank you my amazingly weird boyfriend who nearly gave me a heart attack with that choice.

**Spice** : Needless to say we won the practice room. It’s our territory now.

**Mochi** : Good for you Gi. Be a bad bitch.

**Cookie** : So if I out dance Hobi then the practice room becomes mine?

**Tae** : ( ゜。゜ )

**Mochi** : Uh, no.

**Cookie** : But Yoongi outplayed that guy so if I out dance Hoseok the current dance troop leader then I become the defecto leader and owner of the territory.

**Tea** : Sweetheart we already have art studio # 3 and the photography room. We don’t need anything else. 

**Cookie** : Come on babe, let me win more land for you.

**Noodle** : This isn’t the Middle Ages guys chill out. Kook you don’t need more “land” to impress Taehyung let Hobi and Jimin have the dance room. 

**Cookie** : I suppose I can leave it, for now.

**Steak** : You guys also have your apartments? Like the place you pay to live in that is actually, legally yours?!

**Tea** : True 

**Cookie** : Kind of forgot honestly.

**Spice** : I just wanted to put that douche bag in his place.

**Sugar** : I just wanted to play music for my boyfriend. 

**Spice** :  ♡ ＾▽＾♡

Also Yoongi don’t forget to pack you’re stuff. We’re leaving tomorrow night for dinner with the family.

**Steak** : AKCJDJWBDHE YOU’RE WHAT!!?

**Noodle** : Since when young man? You should tell us when you’re going to meet your future in laws!

**Mochi** : Woah! When did you all plan this?

**Honey** : Why did neither of you say something?

**Cookie** : Do we mean nothing to you?! What happened to us being a family?

**Tea** : I feel so used and betrayed! By Gi hyung of all people!!

**Spice** : CLAM DOWN!

**Cookie** : Damn. Who shot the clam?

**Spice** :  눈 _ 눈

Not in the mood for your dumbassary Jeon.

I asked Yoongi to come with me to my aunts birthday party for safety.

**Mochi** : Why? She gonna hug you to death? Pinch your cheeks off?

**Spice** : More along the lines of trying to convert me to be “normal” and not as she calls me, “the biggest disappointment in our families history.” 

**Noodle** : Oh shit.

So Yoongi is going because...?

**Spice** : She’s less likely to try anything if I bring someone home, showing her it’s not a faze. Also my mom and my grandma said that if she still tries something then she’ll be permanently kicked out from all family gatherings and they’ll help me get a restraining order against her if things escalate. I hardly think I’ll need it but better safe than sorry.

Sorry for dragging you into all of this Yoon.

**Sugar** : Nothing to be sorry for. You can’t help that your aunt is a homophobic bitch. I’ll be there to spit fire and protect you.

**Spice** : Fuck knights in shining armor, Ive got me a stone dragon that spits fire. Lol.

**Sugar** : (  ￣＾￣ )

**Spice** : Come on. That was so accurate.

**Cookie** : So is this your way of telling us that your a furry?

**Spice** : NO

**Tea** : Actually he’d be a scaly if Yoongi hyung is a dragon. And before accusations are made I would like to say that Tumblr used to be a very educational place before it killed itself on the 17th of December.

**Honey** : Yeah it was. 

**Mochi** : R.I.P Tumblr.

**Steak** : Well ignoring the meme children I’d like to wish you both luck and that you both get through this safe and sound. Fighting!

**Noodle** : Fighting!

**Cookie** : Fighting!

**Mochi** : Fighting!

**Tea** : Fighting!!!!

**Honey** : FIGHTING!!

**Sugar** : Thanks you guys. We’ll try out best.

**Spice** : You know that means no sex right?

**Sugar** : It mea-wha?

**Spice** : First off, we’ll be in my CHILDHOOD home and Second of all, other people will be there and I’d rather not get caught by anyone of them because they still remember embarrassing stuff I did when I was 7. I trust very few of them.

**Sugar** : Alright. 

**Spice** : Oh don’t worry. I’ll compensate you when we get back.

**Sugar** : Fuck yeah!

**Steak** :  （ π ー π ） My eyes.


End file.
